My Ranking Points
Sorry for everyone who wants to read Esther’s story.. I have a rough draft of Chapter 8, but it’s too short. If you want to see the rough draft, just let me know and I’ll post it anyway, but for now, here’s Chapter Two of Elzira’s story.
I wake up to the sharp sting of a cold wind biting my bare face, neck, and arms. As I open my eyes, I slowly become aware of something sharp gripping my shoulders, and I look around. Around me, the bright blue morning sky. Above me, black, feathered skin stretched taut over a skeletal figure. Below me, …
I’m high above the ground, the earth a mere blur of green, blue, and brown, plus the occasional purple or yellow.
The height is dizzying. My feet have never left the ground for any longer than I can jump. Never mind this high above the ground, for this long.
The creature above me seems to be a large, skeletal bird of some sort, judging from the creature that’s flying to my left. Below the other creature dangles an Dauntless girl I’ve never before. She has brown hair in a neat ponytail, and she seems to be still asleep.
Suddenly, we slow down, and the landscape below me becomes clearer. Gorgeous, lush treetops zip below me, a seemingly endless expanse of green forest. In the distance, bluish-gray mountains stand so tall, they’re capped with pure-white snow and their peaks are hidden in wispy white clouds.
Then, the green of the forest abruptly changes to a vivid blue, and parts of it seem to glow. A veil of gray mist shrouds my view, and I shiver as the mist soaks my clothes.
When the mist clears, another stunning view makes me gasp. We are high above a huge valley, which contains two old-fashioned, completely opposite, yet equally beautiful castles. To the right is a sparkling, pretty white castle, with four tall towers made of some sort of crystal or glass, two pink and two blue. To the left is a black castle, dark and elegant, as if it’s made of obsidian or something similar.
Suddenly, the two bird-like-things swoop down, then, still hundreds of feet above the ground, my bird drops me. I fall, screaming, just able to watch the Erudite girl’s creature fly off with her before blacking out.
I wake up with the sweet scent of rich soil in my nose. I open my eyes to see … brightly-colored flowers above me. What?
Then I realize, I’m not dead!
Just as I make that realization, the roots of the flowers lengthen to wrap around my arms and shoulders. With much more strength than I would expect from terrestrial plants, they heave me up to the surface.
I blink as my eyes adjust to the bright sunlight. Around me, various girls are being pulled out of the ground, brushing the dirt off their brightly-colored dresses.
There are all sorts of clothes, but they all have one thing in common: they look like Amity party clothing. But in all sorts of colors. Sure, there is plenty of pink, red, and yellow, but there’s also blue, purple, green, and orange, plus the occasional gray or white. I don’t see any black, though.
I look down at my baggy Abnegation clothes: baggy shirt, baggy skirt, baggy moccasins … Well, okay. The moccasins aren’t baggy, but still. Then I look at the other girls’ “Amity” dresses: tight torso, flowing skirts, vivid colors.
At this point, most of the other girls have already settled down. Now, they’re starting to notice me. Oh great.
Then, I gasp inwardly. What they think of me shouldn’t affect me. I will become my obsession if I begin care about such trivial things, and “I will be my undoing If I become my obsession.” How did I forget that so quickly?
I close my eyes and wipe out my most recent thoughts, crush my potentially Divergent nature. However, as I do, I feel my feet leaving the ground once more. I open my eyes to notice a group of little humanoid winged creatures carrying me across a sparkling blue lake towards the white castle I had seen earlier. Shiny golden letters on a sparkling golden gate read “The School for Good Enlightenment and Enchantment.” What? Is this where the kidnapped kids go every four years?
Everyone around me seems to know what is going on. They’re talking excitedly amongst one another. Or staring at me. Or both.
At last, some sort of brassy instrument blasts from some invisible source, and the golden gates swung open silently and smoothly on well-polished hinges. Not wanting to draw any more unnecessary attention to myself, I simply look straight ahead and walk until everyone around me stops.
The girls form several straight lines, although those at the end of the lines continuously switch lines to stay in the one that seems the shortest. I simply stand at the back to allow everyone else to go before I do.
It seems like forever before I finally reach the front of the longest line, but that is only to be expected. What isn’t to be expected is the woman who stands in front of me, if you can describe her as a woman.
Her hair, lips, and eyes are all neon-green, her dress is neon-pink, her feet bare, her veil pure-white, and her lace gloves neon-blue. But that isn’t the strangest part; it’s that she easily towers over me, standing over ten feet tall. It’s a good thing that the ceiling is high, or she wouldn’t be able to stand straight. Looking to my left and right, I notice that the other “women” are of similar proportions.
She smiles a fake, cheesy smile, much like one you might find on the face of a member of Amity who absolutely hates you but refuses to show it. Still smiling, she hands me a soft bundle wrapped in pink paper and tied together with a white ribbon, a stack of books, and a piece of paper.
Elzira of New Chicago
Good, 1st Year
Charity Tower Room 12
History of Heroism
Good Deeds & Special Talents
Surviving Fairy Tales
What kind of classes are these? There’s no math, science, or language arts. There are no electives, and absolutely no academic classes except for maybe History of Heroism, but even that’s a little odd.
Still smiling that fake smile, the woman gestures to a pink glass staircase underneath a golden “G”. “Charity Tower is up those stairs over there. Your room is on the third floor, last door to the right,” she tells me, before disappearing down a corridor that I could’ve sworn wasn’t there before.
As I climb up the stairs, I can’t help but stare at the images etched into the otherwise smooth pink walls. There are images of young village girls, some farming, some picking berries, and other holding baskets filled with food: bread, pastries, fruit, vegetables, meat, dairy products, so much!
Soon, I reach the third floor and pass five identical pink doors numbered 7 through 11 with golden numbers before reaching my room, an equally identical, equally pink door with an equally golden 12. I knock.
“Come in!” two girls call out simultaneously from behind the door.
I open the door, only to find my hands being vigorously shaken by one of the girls.
“Helen. I think you’re just overwhelming her.”
“What? Really?” She looks at me questioningly.
I nod, embarrassed.
“OMG. I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to! Well, what’s your name?”
“Wooooow! Such a pretty name! Can I see your schedule?”
I hold out my schedule, and she eagerly takes it, then rapidly glances back and forth between three schedules held out in a triangle formation, comparing and maybe memorizing every single detail.
Meanwhile, the other girl speaks up. “Hey. Sorry about Helen. She’s just really excited, although I think you already got that. My name’s Alyssa of Herb Forest. Do you want to change into your uniform? There’s a walk-in closet over there that you can change into. Don’t worry about lights. It lights up automatically when you walk in.”
Uniform? Then I realize that Helen and Alyssa are wearing identical pink dresses and shoes, all in a very Amity style. That must be the uniform. I glance at the bundle in my hand then nod to Alyssa.
Surprisingly, the uniform fits me perfectly. How they knew my size beats me, but then, everything about this place is weird.
When I come out, Helen beams at me. “Now you look the part! You can wear the clothes you came in on weekends, but during weekdays, you have to wear your uniform at all times. There’s also a white nightgown for you in the closet if you didn’t notice already. You’re only allowed to wear it inside your dorm room, though.” I notice that she’s brushing her already-silky hair with a pink-and-white comb.
She frowns at the golden strands stuck in the teeth of the comb. “I wish there was a way to keep hair from getting stuck in combs. Or at least something to make it easier to pull the hair out.”
“Well there isn’t,” Alyssa points out.
“I said I wish.”