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Travers lay on the field, blood from his wound staining his clothes red. Travers lay there dying, his sword a few feet away. His brother walked towards him, pulling his blood-stained sword from Travers’ gut. As the sword was lifted towards his face, Travers caught sight of the jewel. That was it, that was the jewel that would end the…[Read more]
I also don’t have a phone, so i couldn’t write stories on a mobile device
I decided I was bored and had too much freetime on my hands, so I was like, “Hey, why don’t I try editing this person’s story.” Sorry if I’m being annoying! You can always just ignore me.
Well, here’s the (long) revision & explanation:
You probably shouldn’t start two consecutive sentences using the same word. It can sound awkward and d…[Read more]
Ah I just realized this revision sounded awkward:
“He lay there as he felt his limbs grow heavier as the life drained out of him, with his sword just out of reach.”
It would be better to write
“He lay there as he felt his limbs grow heavier due to the life draining out of him, with his sword just out of reach.”
Sorry about that. Hmm… somethi…[Read more]
Lol when I saw the part about you asking for constructive criticism and not stuff like “YOU SUCK”, you have no idea how tempted I was to just type “YOU SUCK” just for the fun of it.
Hmm, well theoretically your sentences WERE gramatically correct, so grammarly wouldn’t have picked it up. It’s better to have a real person check over whether the writing flows or doesn’t sound awkward and repetitive. If you have a friend who is good at writing, then maybe you could ask them to read over your work.
Travers woke in a start, sweating furiously. He may have found his Princess and gotten his happy ending, but his story was far from over. In a flash of bright light his soul was transferred to the newborn soul of a newborn babe. Travers fell into the arms of death. His old, brittle arms snapped under the pressure of his graying body…[Read more]
Tag me please! Oh wait I’m already in the list. Haven’t seen you in a while! I’m writing a story about Paige and Nolan in middle school. Except Nolan acts like a stupid normal preteen boy.
I am sorry I haven’t been on here for a while. But I’m thinking of discontinuing my story…… I just can’t think of anything to write.. Sowwy to the people who liked it…. 🙁
I have writer’s block, can anyone help me with what to next with chapter 2 rewrite?? Just put suggestions!!
Tag List: (BTW, if I missed someone please notify me!)
introduce a new character
kill someone (im evil 2day) 😀
introduce a new villian
make new friends
go on an adventure
describe a class
hope this helps!
Learn some surprising news.
Have a dream (nemesis or other)
Have a falling out with a character
Fast forward to Trial by Tale, the Circus of Talents or the Snow/No Ball
Have you had any ideas related to other stuff, or a shocking fate of a character?
Which one? The first one ItsMeJazzy started?
Also, @clareofendlesswoods left the site, sorry…
Cause, we just like finished the prologue. and then stopped. I really liked it.
A few dings came from the lone grandfather clock in his rather empty room. His room consisted of the following things: A grandfather clock, an antique dresser, a polished mirror above the dresser, a door that led to his balcony, another door that led into a rather large closet, and an exquisite bed. It wasn’t as much as his o…[Read more]
Chapter one restart.
I’m…ambivalent. The descriptions are….okay? But it sounds like info dumps. Like the describing of the bedroom, we didn’t need that. Or the girl’s name, we didn’t need that. And it sounds really…..idk….forced? Overall, it was okay? Sorry if I’m not helping, I couldn’t put my finger on what was wrong.
(P.S is your…[Read more]
The wind rustled his dark hair, and a smile grew on his tan face. He whooped, and whistled to his heart’s content.A few tweets and roars came from the forest behind him Run, Run! They cried, Run far away and never come back! Travers stopped whistling and slowed down. He gave an inquisitive chirp and a few tweets from a dove f…[Read more]
Hey guys. Since for the updated bios I have done Travers Cassius and Emilia, now it is time for Lana Charming! Hope you like it!!
Name: Alana Flora Charming (Alana: Precious Flora: Flower Charming: Pleasant)
Siblings: A 16-year-old sister named Hope
Homeland: Her homeland is The Charming Kingdom where she…[Read more]
ey Guys!!!! Since I did the updates of Travers and Cassius already I decided to do an updated on all MY characters (Because it would be weird if I did it with other people’s characters) Let’s Go!!!
First, we are starting off with……
Name: Emilia Ailene Trelawney of Delbrück (First name: To Imitate Middle n…[Read more]
Hey Guys!!! Today’s post is an updated bio of Cassius, Travers’ brother!!! Let’s go!!!!
Name: Cassius Frances Bellerose of Enchantresa (His homeland before moving to Arron Woods)
Age: 12 ½
Siblings: An older twin brother named Travers Francis Bellerose (In Good), and a younger half-sister named Madeline Victor…[Read more]
Sorry *blessed. I was typing that on my kindle fire and my fingers always slip up on there…
Oh, you said that after you updated Cassius bio, that I can use him in my story. ; . (Sorry, I didn’t tell you that earlier. I was at school and the teacher didn’t know I was in the website so I was typing fast)