cristalwinds

Member Since

8th January, 2018

My Ranking Points

375
    cristalwinds posted an update in the group Book 4: QUESTS FOR GLORY 3 years, 3 months ago

    Hi again guys! If you remember me from the Chapter I posted about my thoughts on what would happen to Sophie, the I’m here to tell you that I just finished the one I did on Tedros. 🙂 But before you read it, I just want to say that it’s a lot about what Tedros is thinking… not much action… I tried to fill the role of Tedros, but 1. I’m not really a good writer and 2. I don’t really think like Tedros . So, if you guys can give me any tips on that, I would really appreciate it! 🙂 One last thing…. if you didn’t read the chapter I did about Sophie, and if you want to, it should be on my Activity, so you can check there. If you can’t find it there, then either scroll down and try to find it or read this (you don’t really have to know what happened to Sophie). Ok, so here’s my version of Chapter 2! I really hope you guys like it! 🙂

    Chapter 2
    Tedros
    Half an hour earlier, Tedros was fiddling with chains clasped around his wrist, which were connected to a corner of a dark, putrid cell. Five guards were in front of his cage, two of which were watching him closely. Tedros peered at the three other pirates, whispering to each other, their backs to him. Tedros went back to fiddling with his chains, making a clinking sound. One of the whispering guards whipped his head around and glared at him. Tedros ignored the thin soldier and kept fiddling, trying to find the keyhole in his chains. The guard stepped towards him, with a nasty expression, “You start again with those chains, and you’ll be dead long before yer execution.” His heavy accented voice echoed through the silent dungeon, eliciting a soft snore from Bogden. Tedros glanced at the cell to the right of him, where William and Bogden lay sleeping, heads on eachothers shoulders. The two boys were definitely best friends, relying on each other for everything. That was something Tedros thought he had once, until…. Tedros shook his head and looked down at the damp floor. How had everything gone so wrong? He was stupid to trust in a boy who came out of nowhere, to trust a boy who was better at being king than himself. Tedros thought back to earlier that day, during the ceremony. Rhian had pulled Excalibur with no effort, proving he was Arthur’s son. Rhian had told Tedros he wasn’t fit to be a king, that Tedros was a failure, an imposter wearing his crown. At first, Tedros couldn’t think; he couldn’t believe what Rhian had done, until it was too late. Agatha had. Agatha knew he was never fit to be a king, deep inside, she knew he would never live up to his father. And that’s exactly why Rhian had showed up; because Tedros wasn’t meant to be a king. Rhian was the True heir, the True Lion. Tedros was the Snake all along, a king made from Lies, a king that deserved to die in his own kingdom, while the true heir would bring Camelot to glory. But, he couldn’t die! Not when his friends’ lives were at stake! The questers were jailed up, all around him, silent and terrified (besides Bogden and William, who were silently snoring in the cell beside him). The guards had told them if they make one peep, they had the right to slit their throats. Even Hester didn’t make a sound, crossed armed and looking down two cells down from his, her brows creased in a worried expression. But it wasn’t just the questers jailed with who were in trouble; his princess was too. “Agatha, where are you?” Tedros whispered into the dark, cold dungeon. He imagined Agatha running through the Woods, terrified, with danger lurking in every corner…. For all he knew, she could be dead right now. “I can’t take this anymore! Get me out of here! I have to save her!” Tedros roared. He tried to stand up, but the chains on his wrists cut deep into his skin, and he started to bleed. In an instant all eyes were on him; including William’s and Bogden’s, who just woke up, startled. Tedros fell to the floor, hopeless. Earlier, he had promised himself that he wouldn’t cry in front of his friends, as if he were their only hope, and if he did that hope would be lost. But now, the promise he made was broken. He stuffed his cold, wet face into his hands and cried. Then, Tedros was taken back to the past, recalling once when he was around the age of five. He was wandering off while on a walk with his father, when he spotted a tiny lizard on a sharp rock. He ran to the lizard, but had accidently fallen on his knee, onto the spiked rock. The lizard had scurried away just before he jammed his knee on its resting place. His younger self started to cry; because of his stinging injured leg, and the lizard that he would never see again. His father had come up to him when he was bawling into his hands, and picked him up. King Arthur looked straight into little Tedros’ eyes, and said in a stern voice, ‘Kings don’t cry’. From that moment, Tedros had tried his hardest to never cry again, but here he was, tears flowing down his redding cheeks. Well, I’m not a King, he thought to himself. That was the Truth. He was never meant to be King of Camelot; when he tried to, he failed miserably. He had let down the kingdoms he was supposed to help, he had let down his own people when he did not do anything to renew Camelot, he had let down the questers when he failed to protect them from Rhian, and he had let down his princess, in so many different ways. Tedros looked around him, to his right, Bogden and William whispering, to his left, Hort glaring at the ground, obviously thinking hard, two cells down to his left, Hester peering at him, but averting her eyes as soon as he looked at her, and Nicola, three cells to his left, curled into a little ball, fidgeting while trying to take her chains off. Dot, Anadil, Merlin, and Professor Dovey were most likely in another section of the dungeon. But the questers near Tedros all looked devastated; as if everything they’ve worked for was all for nothing. Seeing their defeated expressions, Tedros felt a pang of guilt. “I’m sorry guys.” He turned to William and Bogden, who looked away. Then he turned to Hort, Hester, and Nicola, “This is all my fault, I’m so sorry.”. Tedros looked down again, only to hear Hort grunt, as if his apology was a joke. He raised his head to Hort, who was now glaring right at him. “What?” Tedros asked, utterly confused. Hort rolled his eyes, and then peered at the guards, who were looking right at the two boys. Hort laid back on his cell wall, not looking at Tedros at all. Tedros sighed and turned away from Hort. The guards lost interest and started whispering to themselves. After what felt like two minutes, Hort glanced at Tedros and whispered under his breath, “You shouldn’t be apologizing when you can tell us who your ex-knight and now Lion really is.” Hort looked away and crossed his arms, his brows in a worried crease. Tedros’ own brows made a confused crease. What does he mean? He doesn’t know who Rhian the betrayer is? But then Tedros thought about the Lion part of Hort’s question. But was Rhian really the Lion? Or was he the Snake? Tedros’ mind swirled. Rhian was the real Snake all along, until he became the rightful Lion, and Tedros became the true Snake. As Rhian had said, Tedros was a fraud, a Lie, in his place. That Lie had to be removed and turned True. So, did that mean the original Snake was actually Rhian’s Eagle? Tedros’ head started to throb with understanding, and he remembered Agatha’s terrified and pale face, as she watched Rhian take his mother’s key. How did she know Rhian was against them? Had she seen something before Rhian took the key? Didn’t she follow the guards who took the Snake’s body away… Tedros’ heart stopped. If Rhian was the Snake, and the original Snake his Eagle… Rhian couldn’t have killed the original Snake, the Eagle. The Eagle was alive. Tedros paled. But then, who really was the Eagle? They weren’t able to take the ‘Snake’s’ mask off. He had to be someone powerful… or in alliance with someone powerful enough to control the scims. So, which was it?
    Tedros peered at Hort, “He’s the Lion and I’m the Snake. But then that raises the question…” Tedros lowered his voice to be as quiet as he could. “Who’s the real Eagle?” Hort looked at Tedros and raised his eyebrows, surprised to find the prince actually understood. Hort looked away and smiled half-heartedly, “Bingo.”. Who knew Weasel Boy actually thought. Tedros chuckled to himself, but then instantly felt the slight happiness fade away. The dungeon hall turned silent once again, but Tedros began to notice that the silence wasn’t the same. It felt more….eery. He suddenly got chills in his arms, feeling the chills seep to his bones. All of a sudden, Tedros remembered he had been bleeding from pulling on his chains. The blood started to gush out of his hand, faster and faster. He clasped his cut, but that made it extremely painful. Tedros thought he would scream, but he couldn’t, the agony in his hand rising. And then he heard something, a sharp and desperate sound, very far away, but almost crystal clear. Because Tedros knew that sound. “Sophie!” Nicola yelled, “That’s her!” The guards near Tedros’ cell whipped their heads to Nicola, and began to move in her direction.
    “We told you to shut your mouth.” Said one.
    “And we also told you what would happen, if you didn’t!” hissed another. Tedros tried to yell, bt he felt as if his mouth had been glued shut. He struggled to get out of the chains to save Nicola- But it was Hort who turned into a man-wolf and beat him to it. The weasel boy’s man-wolf instantly broke free of his chains and reached his hairy arm out of the cell. He mercilessly grabbed a guard’s throat and squeezed it as hard as he could. The soldier fell to the ground once Hort released his grip. Instantly, the four other pirates rushed to the other side of the hallway, out of Hort’s reach. “Don’t touch her.” Hort hissed. Then, one of the guards cocked a clever looking smile, and turned to a lever that he was standing in front of. “See yuh rat-boy!” He yelled at Hort’s man-wolf, and ****** the lever down. Instantaneously, the floor beneath Hort slid back, and the man-wolf fell, roaring, into a dark pit below him. Tedros heard one last terrified shriek from the hole, and then silence. The pirates all smirked, and the one near the lever pulled it back up, closing the hole in Hort’s cell. The guard sneered at the gaping, terrified teenagers. He stalked closer to them, and with a deadly laugh, said, “Well, now who’s next?”.

    Thanks for actually reading all that 🙂
    P.S. This is like the rough draft, so there might be errors and things I haven’t looked over yet….
    Anyways, if you guys have any tips on what I could have done better, please tell me! I’d really love to hear and use them! Thanks! 😀

        makaylaofdarkwoods replied 3 years, 3 months ago

        You say you aren’t a good writer? I say, that was VERY good… really well-written.. and the suspense is killing meee! Tag me on the next chapter please.

        ado102305 replied 3 years, 3 months ago

        That was really good! What’s next?

          cristalwinds replied 3 years, 3 months ago

          Oh my gosh, really? Thank you guys sooo much! Aggie is up next!

        kiwishells replied 3 years, 3 months ago

        I loved it so much I’m going to go searching for Chapter 2…
        You say ur a bad author? That is a COMPLETE lie. You should become one when ur older!
        BTW,can u plz explain to me how tagging works? Thx
        P.s, what happened to Hort? I CANT WAIT ANY LONGER!!!!!!!!!!!

          kiwishells replied 3 years, 3 months ago

          I meant chapter 1

          cristalwinds replied 3 years, 3 months ago

          Hi, so, tagging is really simple! I was confused how to do it too at first so I looked it up, and yeah, I know now 🙂 Ok, so all you have to do to tag someone is put an @ symbol before their name. Here, I’ll tag you:
          @kiwishells
          🙂 Yeah, so that’s how tagging works!
          As for Hort, well, I’ll just say for now he is ALIVE, no way I would kill him!
          Thank you soooo much for reading this chapter 🙂

        zippysge7 replied 3 years, 3 months ago

        Wow! I cannot wait to read chapter 3! 🙂

COPYRIGHT © 2021 by No Pressure Productions, L.L.C.
Cover Art copyright © 2013, 2014,2015 by Iacopo Bruno