dritten25

Member Since

9th November, 2018

My Ranking Points

1715
    dritten25 posted an update in the group RP Level 0: The Clearing 3 months, 3 weeks ago

    Hi! This is a new story I’m writing, her bio is in my activity, hope you enjoy!
    Tag
    @carrot123
    Reanna White
    Chapter one, new beginnings and new disaster
    ————————————————————————————
    Water dripping all over me, great really great. I said sarcastically, I was about to yell I wasn’t going to be a princess when I remembered, I hadn’t gotten a flowerground ticket, a stmph had dropped me in a gloomy moat, and right in front of me was……….(gasp)” The evil castle!” I said almost in a wisper, this meant no more overwhelming life in snow whites castle! No more pink! No more lessons! No more have-to-be-that-perfect-princess! I stood in front of the dark evil castle, the castle of new beginnings the castle of a new life! I stood with my mouth agape,happy
    This meant I was free.
    For the first time I truly was, truly free, as I skipped giddily down to the entrance I felt a woo sh of exitment, I shock of true happiness, a burst of positive freedom.
    And then, an explosion of pain, I hadn’t watched were I was skipping and fell over a dead birch tree, withered in grey age, the pain hit me in a big kick of branches, scraping my leg with a little blood. It hurt, but not enough for me to stop walking to my dreams, my hope, my new life.
    That is ,until I couldn’t walk.
    As my leg hit the gravel it bounced back or sorta just limped and slipped away, making me crash head first onto the rocky path. Then a voice strong and sort of masculine said:”are you alright? Also shouldn’t you be on the other side” I whipped up on my knees and beheld professor sader, “no, I am a never fair and square, nobody will take that away from me! ” I pressed, then forgetting I couldn’t walk, I swept up on my feet and tried to briskly walk away, but then I fell on my face….. Again.
    “Here no need to face plant more than once, I am professor sader, if your evil… You must be Reanna…. Reanna White!” He said calming, helping me to my feet and balancing my limping leg. “How do you know me” I asked grimly ” your a white, everyone knows you” sader said as he walked away. Then I tried to walk, but again falling on my light headed face, knocking me out.

        carrot123 replied 3 months, 3 weeks ago

        Good job! But try to work on the punctuation a little more.

          dritten25 replied 3 months, 3 weeks ago

          Yeah, thanks for the feedback, I’m a dunce at grammar, punctuation is not my strong suit

        carrot123 replied 3 months, 3 weeks ago

        That’s okay

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