While Annabel was running to her room, she bumped into another girl.
“Watch where you’re going,” the girl said angrily while she rubbed her head.
“I’m s-ss-sorry,” Annabel said as she tried to keep the other girl from seeing she was crying. Then suddenly Annabel felt her head be pulled up by a small dainty hand. The girl saw Annabel…[Read more]
Right as Annabel and the other princesses walked into the classroom, they all looked for the teacher but instead found a young girl no more than twenty years of age. A girl with dark brown hair and caramel eyes stepped forward.
“Excuse me,” she said in the politest tone, “Do you know where Princess Uma is?”
The little girl turned…[Read more]
That was awesome. The only thing I have to point out is that you keep changing from third person to first person. I hope I helped.
As all the princesses entered the hall, the Nevers were already sitting cheering for their side and acting loud and obnoxious (so basically how they always act). I kept looking for Hester’s or Anadil’s children, but mother said they might not have had children. All of the Nevers kept glaring at me with dubious and annoyed looks. I hop…[Read more]
Maybe you should add some twist not add ins from the original story and feelings
I really think you should add a villain in here 😀 maybe someone who wants to kill you ??
It was really good but you changed point of views during the first bold line. “She was familiar, I just couldn’t remember from where…” and after the bold line it says, “The next morning Annabel woke up to hearing loud voices and laughing.” I’m not trying to be mean, just helping you out. 😉
I had seen mother and father just yesterday, but I already missed them so much. I know mom and dad loved it here and said I would find my happily ever after at school, but I’m not them. I’m not courageous and clever like my mom and I’m not handsome and popular like my dad. I’m a failure in the family the perfect couple with an…[Read more]
Ooooh, horrible cliff-hanger! When will you post the next chapter?
Fairy Tale Lineage/Parents: Agatha and Tedros
Talent/s: wish granting magic; combat; sword fighting; archery; mogrification; thunder magic
Personality: soft spoken; shy; kind; loyal; kind; brave; adventurous; hard time trusting; thinks low of her self(like she thinks she is not…[Read more]
@nellie5678 | Same, same. I feel like this will be very interesting…