Hi this is Chapter 7 of my story Terendils Arise, constructive feedback would be helpful!😀
If Sara had known how her enemies would find her, she would have preferred to go looking for them herself, she thought, as she sat on a hard bed, with slimy gunge covering her body as she stared out of the gloomy window. But she knew that it couldn’t be helped, as if you screamed into the night air at random, anything could happen really.
(At the Evil castle doors, 1 hour ago.)
Whispers. Rustling. Someone was here – Sara knew it. How else could they confer?
“Who is here?” she called into chilly night air.
No reply. “I know you are here,” she said. Still no one came forward. Her foot itching, she took off her remaining heel, brandishing it into the darkness. “I’m armed,” she said ominously, hoping to make a good impression.
“And so are we.”
Out of the black, 5 harpies emerged carrying torches that flushed the light across their face. Their eyes bulged out of their sockets, and they smiled. “AAaghh!” Sara screamed – flailing wildly towards the Bridge…
Sploosh. With a gasp, she realised she had fallen in the sludgy green moat. And if I fall in the moat… it means I can’t get out. I know that, it’s too thick… too thick… too… thick. Her brain span uncontrollably. Her legs, once muscly and bold were thrashing without movement. And if she couldn’t breathe… well she wasn’t far from being dead.
Panic. Fear. Rage. These three things were all Sara’s mind could think of.
Rage. Panic, Fear, Rage. PanicFearRagePanicFearRage-
Until she could think no more.
“She’s an Ever,” Sara heard someone say amidst the black, “she’s on the opposite side.”
“Yes, but she must be here for a reason.”
“I don’t care! The teachers don’t know, and they should! We should never have shoved her in the moat in the first place! We should have taken her to Dean Sophie!”
“You’ll want to hear what I have to say first…” Sara stuttered.
Both girls blanched.
“Go ahead,” one of them said, twitching on a wart.
So Sara explained, right from the Welcoming, through to the disastrous dinner and her fall in the moat. She missed out no detail, including her encounter with the ‘harpies’. Once she had finished, both girls looked a shade whiter, if that was possible.
“And all I know is that my sister told me about one of the Three Famous Seers seeking revenge, and I don’t even know how that is linked,” she sniffled, thinking about Abbie trapped in the Doom Room.
“Don’t worry, we can stop this.”
Sara looked up nervously.
“How?” she asked.
“We have henchman,” the girls grinned. And that was all they said.
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