My Ranking Points
@skyfire1 , this is my entry for your writing competition!
They ask you questions when you die. Lots and lots and lots of questions. About how you feel, who you are, and about what you wanted to be. And then they tell you what happened. Although, in my case I already knew. I killed myself. When I got there I was wearing a black hoodie with a hole in the middle and caked with blood. I didn’t feel bad though. They said that you never do.
They gave me options for my future in heaven. They told me I could become an angel. I thought of an angel with wings and pretty hair, so of course I said yes! The room I was in looked a lot like a hospital, with a bed I was in in the corner, a door to my right, and a bookshelf in the other two corners. A hospital with a library inside? Anyway, the woman beaming in front of me was beautiful, and smiled softly. She took my hand as soon as I answered. I could smell hand sanitizer all around me, and felt the soft sheets slide on my tan skin. It was like moving a two mountains as I moved my stiff legs from the bed to the light brown door.
Two men in strange uniforms hooked my arms in theirs and led me away from the woman who had helped me before. I could imagine that she must be an angel with her pretty freckles, heart-shaped face, and light blonde hair. I looked back at her and she waved at me with the same smile plastered on her face. I wonder if that was the look she gave all of the people she met. The men tugged ******* my arm and I noticed I had stopped walking to look back at her.
My surroundings were beautiful, and Heaven definitely lived up to its expectations. There was a large staircase in front of me, and draped over it was a silk carpet. My bare feet touched it and I knew I was really there. At the top of the stairs was a white porta-***** shaped room. The men shoved me into the room and slammed the door behind me. I heard it lock and gasped.
There was nothing in the room until I turned behind me. There was a glittering mirror in front of me, except I wasn’t there. I mean, it was me, but with different clothes and no stained makeup on my face. I touched the mirror, but my hand went straight through. When I pulled it back out, it had a black glove on it. The same one I was wearing in the mirror. I walked right through the mirror when I tried again.
I was in a different room, this one black with a bright light shining at the top of the room. I turned around, and the mirror was still there. I was wearing my old clothes and my makeup was still there in the mirror. I looked down, though, and I had on the uniform in the other mirror.
It had long, black sleeves and the body of a white turtleneck. It was button-up, and over my heart there was a cross embroidered into the cloth in black. I was still wearing the glove, except now the other was also there. Sewn to it were pants, made of black cloth with knee pads, shoes, and socks that were white. It was a little tight, but comfortable nonetheless. As soon as I finished analysing my outfit, I heard the door unlock.
As soon as I stepped out of the box, I was greeted by a manicken dressed in all black. At joints all across the body there were white strings which hung from the ceiling. The manicken grabbed my hand. Although there was no mouth, it started to speak in a soothing voice.
“Hello. Welcome. You must be Eliza Burns.” The puppet led me towards some sort of stamp sitting on a black table in an all black room. It twisted my arm so that my vein was on top and then stamped my vein. It burnt the cross on my clothes unto my skin, but I didn’t feel any pain. The manicken let me go, and where it’d burnt me was red and tender.
“Where am I?” I asked politely while rubbing my wrist.
“You are at the residency of the angels.” It spread its arms out wide and faced the white hallway to my left. I turned when the manicken grabbed my arm again, and looked into the hallway. There were doors on either side, but the manicken pulled me past all of them until it reached the very end of the hallway. I looked up at the door.
It was painted with red blood, and I heard screaming from the inside. “What’s inside?” I demanded loudly.
“Your new roommate.” It walked away after setting my fingers on the doorknob. My hand trembled when I heard a bloodcurdling scream from inside the room. I turned the **** and opened it slightly. There was a girl in the corner of the room with a knife in her hand. Her grey eyes opened wide when she saw me. The girl’s hair was perfect black and curled when it touched her shoulders. Our room smelled like sweat and blood and tears and sadness. She then dropped the knife and left 13 perfectly straight cuts across her arm. Blood drizzled down her skin and somehow the cuts formed the bleeding letters, E-L-I-Z-A. She continued to stare until I stepped forward.
“No! No no no no no no no…,” The girl stomped around the room and dripped blood onto the already stained floor. “Deryl promised he wouldn’t bring anyone else here, he said!” She walked up to me and smiled. “Of course you’re welcome here. I just didn’t want you to go through it. I’m Margo, by the way.” Then she frowned again.
“Wait, did The Manicken tell you you’re staying here?” She stared at me with narrowed eyes and then rubbed her temples. “You can’t, there is only one bed. You can stay with Quinn or something…” Margo walked to her blood red bed and fell over.
I pointed to her arm. “Doesn’t that hurt?” She looked up from her bed and shook her head.
“Nothing will hurt anymore. You can’t die twice!” She laughs and then it dies down. Margo then points to the knife. “It’s easier to hurt yourself when it doesn’t feel bad.” She stood up and grabbed my arm. “I’d better show you around.”
We walked first to a plain white door with black around the edges. In the center of the door was a fully black heart. Margo knocked on the door and said the name Quinn very softly.
“By the way, this is Quinn Franz’s room. And if you didn’t know about the patterns on the doors, it reflects how we feel.” I looked back at her ****** door and shuddered.
“Hello?” A small boy who looked about seventeen or eighteen answered. He had on eyeliner and his hair was white as snow. “Oh. You must be new. And, hi, Margo.”
“Hi. By the way, Quinn is an albino.” I nodded at Quinn and shook his hand. While Margo had a hint of a French accent, Quinn’s was American like mine.
“What’s your name?” He asked. I wrapped my arms around myself before I answered, thinking of Margo’s arm.
“Eliza.” Margo looked down at her cuts and dug her fingernails into her side. I swallowed hard and blinked. The next door we went to had a white heart in the middle with black everywhere else. There was no door handle, but there was a hole in the door. I heard a noise from inside the room, and Margo leaned against the door to listen in.
“These two are the only ones here who are still alive,” Margo whispered to me when I leaned against the door with her. “Their names are Raphael and Michaelangelo Monta. You can just call them Raphi and Michael, though. Also, they are married.”
“How are they in Heaven if they aren’t dead?”
“They’re part of a special association and had to be here for… Business. They don’t like very many people around here, so I wouldn’t trust them.” And yet I should trust you? I thought, pushing harder against the door. We heard soft chuckling from inside.
“Raphi, when do you think that we will get to go back home?” I assumed that was Michael, and he had a thick accent, one I didn’t recognize.
“Whenever Donnatello says we can go back, I suppose,” Raphael paused and then I heard him walk up to the door. “I think someone is outside the door, Michael.” It opened. Margo and I pulled away from the door and I finally got a view of ‘Raphi’. He had long brown hair tied back in a ponytail. His eyes were green and he had a faint smile on his lips. “Hello. Who might you be?” He looked straight into my eyes and squinted, as if staring into my soul.
“Hello!” Michael walked up to me as well and grinned. Raphi wrapped his arm around Michael and he blushed profusely. His black hair framed his face, and his eyes were grey like Margo’s. He was shorter than Raphi by quite a bit, and had tea in his hands. The two of them wore normal clothes, unlike the uniforms Quinn, Margo and I wore.
“Well, I wanted to introduce you two to Eliza. She’s new here.” Margo pushed me forward and tapped her feet to a rythm.
“Do you two want to come in for some tea?” Raphi asked kindly.
“Okay.” I responded as they led me into their room. There was a bed in the center of the room. It was a little bit longer than the one in Margo’s place, but still pretty small for two people. Right next to the bed was a bookshelf filled with leather books, and on the other side of the room was a small kitchen and a table with six chairs. There was a door next to the kitchen.
“I’ll get you two some tea, but we only have lavender.” Michael pulled out two teabags and a kettle, then put some water from the sink in.
“Sorry we don’t have anything else. We could only take so much here from our house back on Earth.” He went to get teacups from a cupboard to help Michael out, and took out one red and one white cup. After less than five minutes our tea was ready and the table had been decorated. The tea was the perfect temperature, and tasted delicious. Raphi and Michael might not have looked the part of a couple, but in personality and the way they worked they were perfect for each other. Margo sank deeper into her chair when she took a sip, and I scooted in closer to the small table.
“So, why are you two here if you’re alive?” I asked. Raphi and Michael looked at each other and then looked at me.
“We came here looking for someone… He was one of our old friends. We know he isn’t here, but the friend who sent us here is kind of obsessed with Leo,” Michael paused and looked down at his tea. “Raphi and I kind of figured that he didn’t go to Heaven when he died. We all knew that he wanted to be an Angel or Devil though, so it was one or the other.”
“Mhm. He did some bad things, so I’m honestly not surprised.” Raphael said calmly.
“Like?” Margo queried. Raphi leaned back in his chair.
“He’s killed to many people to count, and he burned a house down. He used to drop bombs for his old association, before he joined us. He-”
“He tried to kill us,” Michael interrupted Raphi. “After we met him. After we were friends. After we were like family to him.” Raphi looked to the floor.
“That to,” I gulped and wrapped my arms around myself. Suddenly I felt a vibration in the floor. Raphi gasped and stood up. “It’s Don. You two are welcome to come to if you like.” Michael followed, and they opened the door next to the oven. I came with them, and Margo walked behind me. Once I got a look inside the room I gasped. There was a mirror exactly like the one in Heaven in the center of the room. The rest of the room was almost alive, all black with cycles of red pumping like a heart. In the mirror, Raphi was the same. On the other hand, Michael wasn’t even there, I was back in my black hoodie, and Margo had blood all over her, with knotted hair and several cuts from a knife all over her. She was wearing a tight black dress with a low v-neck. I looked at her next to me. Her eyes were narrowed and she was biting her lip.
“You didn’t find him, did you,” I heard a soft, pained voice coming from the mirror, but couldn’t see anything except what I saw before. Michael shook his head and a series of loud curse words echoed from the mirror. “Of course Leo went to ****! Why couldn’t he be a good person and make my life easier! Why’d he have to die? How could he be so stupid!” Michael cringed and stepped forward.
“We’ll find him, Don. You don’t have to be that worried. You don’t have to get Deryl back for hurting him. You don’t have to protect him anymore. He can’t die another time.” Raphi consoled the person talking through the mirror.
“How would you react if Michael died, Raphi? Would you not be just as worried as I am! Wouldn’t you kill for him? Wouldn’t you risk your friend’s lives and send them to an organization that kills, all for him?” Raphi stepped behind Michael, who was staring at the floor. “Will you not admit that all of us are obsessed with someone. We would all kill for somebody, and you can’t blame me for doing the exact same thing you would.”
“I’m sorry, Don. I didn’t mean to criticise you of anything.” Raphi responded.
“By the way, we can’t see through the mirror. Donatello, the man who is speaking through the mirror can’t see us. It’s because we’re dead.” Margo whispered this into my ear, quiet enough that Don wouldn’t notice. I nodded at her and stared at the spot where Michael should have been and raised an eyebrow.
“Why isn’t Michael in the mirror?” I asked quietly.
“He hasn’t killed anybody,” She explained. “The rest of us have.”
“But I haven’t killed anybody!” I tried to stay quiet, but that last sentence Don probably heard.
“Who was that?” Donatello asked. Michael breathed calmly and closed his eyes.
“Two of the Angels. Don’t worry, they can’t see through the mirror.” Don sighed loudly enough that Margo and I could hear and then continued his conversation with Michael and Raphi.
“You killed yourself, didn’t you?” Margo asked without looking into my eyes. I didn’t respond and looked at myself in the mirror. My blue eyes were puffy and my ***** blonde hair was ratty.
“How did you know that?” My voice was pained and came as a strain from my throat. Margo sighed and looked me in the eye.
I hope you like it!