NBWeek Day 5: Misconceptions
@itzmoviestar (Movie Star/Connie)
Hey, everyone! It’s Day 5 of the first annual NBWeek, with the theme “Misconceptions”! The prompt of the day is:
“Share what people often get wrong about your gender, and what you’d like binary people to understand.”
@flowerground6 will be giving a storytime today.
One misconception that annoys me a lot is that people assume nonbinary people are comfortable with being treated as any gender, or that we “fit” in both male and female categories. Like, no, you can’t just split the class into girls and boys and say, “You’re nonbinary, so that means you can be either!” You need to actually change your system to be more inclusive of all genders, not try to force someone into a group they don’t belong in.
Another misconception that seems to be widely accepted is the idea that all nonbinary genders are a mix of male and female. I’ve shared this graphic a *few* times before, but it’s actually more like this:
It’s hard for a lot of people to wrap their heads around the idea that there are genders completely separate from male and female, but it’s true! Defining nonbinary as “somewhere in between male and female,” although it may be easier to immediately understand, is perpetuating this misconception.
Finally, I have one more: the misconception that all pronouns that aren’t she/her or he/him fit equally well for all nonbinary people. You can’t use xe/xem pronouns for someone whose pronouns are they/them because you don’t understand how plural nouns work. In addition, if there’s a nonbinary person who uses she/her or he/him pronouns, don’t use they/them pronouns!
There’s also a misconception that it’s a good idea to use they/them pronouns for everyone, including cis people. Using they/them pronouns for a cis person is misgendering them. While it may not be as bad as misgendering a trans person, it’s still misgendering!
Just ask for people’s pronouns and use them. It’s not that hard.
One misconception people hold with people on the nonbinary spectrum is that we all fluctuate towards androgyny and gender-neutrality in terms of self expression. That’s absolutely untrue – while there are many androgynous nonbinary people, not everyone is. Some people present more masculine or more feminine and that is absolutely okay and it doesn’t mean they’re any less valid or less nonbinary than if you present yourself androgynously. We don’t owe anyone androgyny just so that we can fit into the box people think of us in.
Same with pronouns: Some nonbinary people use she/her or he/him pronouns, and that is absolutely okay.
Like, sheesh. People should just let other people live their lives authentically, and stop confining us in this little box they call “acceptance” but is still, unwavering, oppression.
Yes, thank you! This is such an important thing for people to understand!
I’ve been thinking a bit about my gender, and like both Audrey and Flo said, sometimes I feel a bit female, and sometimes I feel like something else. I’m not sure what that is, but I’ll figure it out later.
I was scrolling through random people’s activity and I stumbled upon your NBweek posts and I’ve found them incredibly eye-opening. I have a lot of friends both irl and online, and even though I’ve expressed and felt only kindness and acceptance towards them, I haven’t always been accepting towards enbys and so naturally as a cisgender female I have a lot to learn. And that was completely on me, I’ve always grown up around very lgbtq+ accepting people, I just refused to educate myself. I feel like I’ve already learned so much from reading through your posts and I’ll continue to be the best ally I can 😀
Yeah, I also appreciate it a ton when you take the time to educate others
I’m sorry for disrupting the serious talk but I just read “genderqueer” as “genderqueen” and can I just say
Subscribe for exclusive updates about Soman’s newest projects, the SGE movie, and more!