leilamofwoodsbeyond posted an update 1 day, 1 hour ago

    Over 4000 points now!
    Woohoo one of the most exciting things on earth
    *note the sarcasm*
    Um anyways, hola spoes, how’s life going?

        bethmirror30 replied 23 hours, 40 minutes ago

        Congrats! Life’s good, wbu?

          leilamofwoodsbeyond replied 16 hours, 50 minutes ago

          (Ooh, a new spoe to my activity! Welcome!)
          I’m glad life’s good, mine’s not too bad currently 🙂

        pinker13 replied 18 hours, 13 minutes ago

        Congratulations! Life’s great! Yours? (Yes, I am at summer camp. Well, technically, I will be tomorrow morning. So you won’t hear from me for a while. I’m just sneaking on the site. Just not on Discord or Google Docs…)

          leilamofwoodsbeyond replied 16 hours, 50 minutes ago

          That’s great! Mine’s going okay currently, although summer and quarantine is rather boring for me XD
          (Ah, we’ll miss you on discord and the docs, I hope you have fun at summer camp!)

          pinker13 replied 7 hours, 32 minutes ago

          Oof XD
          (Thanks! This time will be the last time you see me until after summer camp. Until then, see you later! Well, actually, it’s talk to you later!)

    leilamofwoodsbeyond posted an update 1 week, 5 days ago

    @blondieonfire @catsforlife @eloiseruizpalma @dotalltheway @teamjoanne @royalfudge @gris @ravenclawjedi @kittencaravalsge @thecoven4ever
    This is for you guys- the Sneaky Snek Smoothie Squad Snekafia.
    When I heard that the Snek friendversary was on (or at least somewhere around) June 25th, I wanted to do something, after all you guys have done for…[Read more]

        dotalltheway replied 1 week, 5 days ago

        Which isn’t sane at all. Leila, this is so amazing and I can’t thank you enough. I’m so emotional rn loam, I love y’all so much. Even at our worst, we are always the beautiful, amazing SSSSS!!!

          leilamofwoodsbeyond replied 1 week, 4 days ago

          It was the least I could do for you guys. The beautiful, amazing SSSSS <3

        royalfudge replied 1 week, 5 days ago

        Which isn’t sane at all.
        Leilei… I am actually without words. I… wow. Beautiful.

          leilamofwoodsbeyond replied 1 week, 4 days ago

          I knew that I wouldn’t have words either, so I figured I should just use everyone’s. I’m glad you liked it. <3

        ravenclawjedi replied 1 week, 5 days ago

        Which isn’t sane at all. I love y’all.

          leilamofwoodsbeyond replied 1 week, 4 days ago

          Love you too, Maddie. <3

        blondieonfire replied 1 week, 5 days ago

        WHICH ISN’T SANE AT ALL OH MY GOD I’M ABOUT TO CRY
        i love y’all so so so much <3

          leilamofwoodsbeyond replied 1 week, 4 days ago

          That was my intention hehe
          Love you guys <3

        eloiseruizpalma replied 1 week, 5 days ago

        …Which isn’t sane at all! This is absolutely beautiful Leilei! Jimboob the sloth is my favouriteeeeee!! I love you all so muchh <33

          leilamofwoodsbeyond replied 1 week, 4 days ago

          Thank you, I’m really glad you liked it! I knew I had to include Jimboob the sloth hehe <3

        thecoven4ever replied 1 week, 5 days ago

        Which isn’t sane at all. Oh my gosh Lauren. That was beautiful. Thank you so much, from the bottom of my heart. And to all the sneaky snekks, I love you all more than words can express. To the stars, my sisters ❤️

          leilamofwoodsbeyond replied 1 week, 4 days ago

          I’m glad you liked it, it was all I could do after everything you guys have done for me. To the stars <3

    leilamofwoodsbeyond posted an update 2 weeks, 2 days ago

    I… I don’t know.
    I’m happy.
    I think.
    But at the same time I’m not.
    It’s like…
    Like I want to smile.
    Yet all I can do is stare at my phone, type this in, and try not to cry.
    And to be honest I don’t even know what those tears would be.
    Whether happy or sad.
    I’m not sure.
    I… I don’t know.

        royalfudge replied 2 weeks, 2 days ago

        *I hug you*
        Most of us aren’t, not all the time.
        Just be.
        Breathe.
        The world isn’t just yours to fix.

        blondieonfire replied 2 weeks, 2 days ago

        *biggest huggles*
        It really is painful, trying to figure out what you’re really feeling when you want tears and smiles all at once.
        You’ll find a light someday, a ray through the clouds. This confusion can’t last forever, I promise.

        thecoven4ever replied 2 weeks, 1 day ago

        Good days. The rarest of the rare. The days when things don’t even have to go right— as long as they don’t go wrong. Those are the happy ones. You’re stuck. We all are, sometimes. Pulled into a void, a void that makes you think that there’s no escape. But there is. The good days and the good moments and the good conversations. The gray side. *hu…[Read more]

        leilamofwoodsbeyond replied 1 week, 5 days ago

        *I hug you guys*
        Thank you all so much. I love you guys, and your words mean more than you know <3

    leilamofwoodsbeyond posted an update 3 weeks ago

    Hi everyone!

    This is the post for the results of the Trans Tuesday Poetry Contest!

    Apologies for the delay, we wanted to make sure everyone had a chance to submit their entry. With that being said, we only ended up getting three entries, so we just want to congratulate everyone who submitted a poem. They really were amazing, and thank you all so…[Read more]

        carrot123 replied 3 weeks ago

        Yay! But where are the results, you didn’t say them in the post?

          leilamofwoodsbeyond replied 2 weeks, 6 days ago

          Because there were only three results, and they were all really really good, Ginger and I decided we would just honor everyone instead of trying to choose just one winner.

        carrot123 replied 2 weeks, 6 days ago

        Okay! I like that idea! (it’s not just because I also submitted a poem)

          leilamofwoodsbeyond replied 2 weeks, 6 days ago

          I’m glad you like the idea! 🙂

        eloiseruizpalma replied 2 weeks, 1 day ago

        Congratulations!

    leilamofwoodsbeyond posted an update 4 weeks ago

    I’m just going to put a few random quotes here from the internet, just… because why not, and I’m in a quote mood. Most of them probably aren’t going to have a label or anything telling who said them, so apologies in advance for that. It’s probably going to be a whole lot of different ones, I’m not sure… If you see this and want to comment a…[Read more]

        leilamofwoodsbeyond replied 4 weeks ago

        And just a couple of my own attempted quotes, just because.
        “I wish I had the words to say thank you, but what you have done for me is beyond words.”
        “They say they’ll always be there, but I can’t help wondering when they won’t be.”
        “I’m not negative- I just prefer to prepare for the worst so that I’m not as disappointed when it comes.”

        pinker13 replied 3 weeks ago

        “Never say goodbye, because goodbye means going away and going away means forgetting.“

          leilamofwoodsbeyond replied 3 weeks ago

          Ooh, that’s a good one

    leilamofwoodsbeyond posted an update 1 month ago

    What happens when I leave?
    What happens when I become an adult?
    What happens when I retire?
    What happens when I die?
    Will I even make it that long?
    I hope so, I really do.

        carrot123 replied 3 weeks ago

        *huggles*

        pinker13 replied 3 weeks ago

        *huggles*

        leilamofwoodsbeyond replied 3 weeks ago

        *huggles back to everyone*

          outdoorpoet replied 2 weeks, 5 days ago

          *huggles*

        eloiseruizpalma replied 2 weeks, 5 days ago

        *huggles*

        royalfudge replied 2 weeks, 2 days ago

        *I hug you*
        You’re beautiful.

        leilamofwoodsbeyond replied 2 weeks, 2 days ago

        Thank you guys all <3

          royalfudge replied 2 weeks, 2 days ago

          Always.

    leilamofwoodsbeyond posted an update 1 month, 1 week ago

    I have cried. Shed tears for myself, for others, for the world.
    I have laughed. Laughed with my friends, sharing inside jokes and so much more.
    I have smiled. Both real and fake smiles, with others and when I’ve felt so so alone.
    I have fought. Fought for my own peace and fought with others and hurt the peace.
    I have regretted. Regretted how I…[Read more]

        merqueen23 replied 1 month, 1 week ago

        Mom, this is… this is beautiful. This is beautiful, but it’s also heartbreaking. You are one of the most amazing people that I have ever had the privilege of knowing, and I will remember you forever. I am so, so, so sorry that you’ve ever felt this way, and I wish I could just take away all the hurt, all the pain, all the guilt, and everything,…[Read more]

        thecoven4ever replied 1 month, 1 week ago

        Mer had the perfect words.
        Leilei…. I too wish you hadn’t gone through all that. Wish you hadn’t had to feel the pain and anguish and sadness and hurt and sorrow. You are more than enough and I so wish I could show you just how amazing you are. You will always be more than enough. A sister, a friend, a companion. You. And you are an always for…[Read more]

        carrot123 replied 1 month ago

        Mom! You’re such an amazing person, even when I don’t know you irl. Cove and Mer said it all, but I’ll try too. I wish that you didn’t have to go through that, and it must’ve been really really hard. You are kind, loving, amazing, beaufiful (even though I didn’t see your face reveal), intelligent, and such an amazing spoe. I wish I was there for…[Read more]

        leilamofwoodsbeyond replied 1 month ago

        Thank you guys. Thank you all so much. I’m close to crying right now just because your words mean a lot to me.
        You guys are amazing, even if you don’t see it, trust me.
        Thank you all.
        Love you guys all, to the stars and beyond.

          merqueen23 replied 1 month ago

          Love you Mom, and we’re always here for you, till the end of time <33

          thecoven4ever replied 1 month ago

          Love you so much, my sister ❤️

        outdoorpoet replied 2 weeks, 5 days ago

        OH. LEILA. YOU ARE AMAZING. AND THAT WAS AMAZING. Amm always here if you need anything.

          leilamofwoodsbeyond replied 2 weeks, 4 days ago

          Thanks, Poet <3

    leilamofwoodsbeyond posted an update 1 month, 1 week ago

    I’m a little bit scared of growing my nails out, to be honest.
    I worry that it will make it too easy.
    Sometimes the few things that draw me away from the knives, anything sharp really, is that they aren’t so easy to access.
    I’m worried that with longer fingernails, that will go away.
    Because then I can just scratch.
    And it’ll do the job.
    I’…[Read more]

    leilamofwoodsbeyond posted an update 1 month, 2 weeks ago

    I can’t.
    I can’t do it.
    I can’t stay silent.
    I can’t stay happy.
    I can’t be the good girl.
    I can’t be the one with the answers.
    I can’t.
    I’m falling apart.
    It seems all I can do is scream.

    Yes, I am a mess.
    I know.
    I’m not trying to deny that, or saying it isn’t true.
    I am not secure.
    I am not stable.
    I have broken and screamed and sobbed…[Read more]

        leilamofwoodsbeyond replied 1 month, 2 weeks ago

        I’m trying.
        But even the simplest of things make everything so much harder.
        A sentence can start my screaming.
        A single thing can make me cry.
        It’s so so hard.

        leilamofwoodsbeyond replied 1 month, 2 weeks ago

        I’m sorry.
        I’m sorry for the outburst.
        I’m sorry for drawing attention.
        Maybe I should stay silent.
        I would hurt less people that way.
        I love you all.
        I am so sorry.

        leilamofwoodsbeyond replied 1 month, 2 weeks ago

        Goodnight. I’m sorry for anything and everything I have done.

        thecoven4ever replied 1 month, 2 weeks ago

        Don’t be sorry. You have done nothing, nothing, nothing wrong. You don’t have to do it. You don’t have to have answers. You don’t have to laugh or be stable or secure. You don’t have to be strong.
        You can fall apart, break, shatter into a million pieces. You can fall, you can cry, you can be lost. I will always catch you. I will always help you.…[Read more]

          leilamofwoodsbeyond replied 1 month, 2 weeks ago

          *I hug you tightly*
          The same goes for you, okay?
          You can cry, you can break, you can shatter. I will be there. I will catch you. Even if I am broken myself, I will always catch you. I will help put you together, I will be there for you. I am here. Always and forever.
          Thank you. Thank you so much- for everything.
          I love you. To the stars and…[Read more]

          thecoven4ever replied 1 month, 2 weeks ago

          Thank you, so much. For everything. I love you ❤️

          leilamofwoodsbeyond replied 1 month, 2 weeks ago

          To the stars and beyond. Love you. ❤️

        outdoorpoet replied 2 weeks, 5 days ago

        Oh. That *****. You’re amazing. *heart emoji* (that I don’t know how to do)

        royalfudge replied 2 weeks, 2 days ago

        You can cry. You can break. You can fall apart, a million times. More. However long we know each other, you will have me. Even if you’re shattered without leave, broken beyond reason. I won’t ever leave you. There’s a song which Gingy first shared with me… and now I want to give it to you. https://youtu.be/NJxmhng2V9s
        Time after time, I will…[Read more]

          leilamofwoodsbeyond replied 1 week, 6 days ago

          The song is beautiful… Thank you so much, for sharing it with me, and for being here, and for everything else.
          The same to you- if you are broken or shattered or falling apart or anything else, I will be here. No matter what. Time after time.
          Love you so much, Kira <3

    leilamofwoodsbeyond posted an update 1 month, 2 weeks ago

    I am a ghost on the site.
    No. Not a ghost.
    That would indicate I have left.
    And I have not left.
    I am still here.
    If only for you guys- my friends, my family.
    I am not a ghost.
    Not yet, at least.
    Maybe soon.
    I’m not sure when.
    I will be a ghost at some point, I’m sure.
    When I do not deserve a place on this site.
    When I do not fit in.
    I’m sure…[Read more]

        thecoven4ever replied 1 month, 2 weeks ago

        You will always deserve this place. And it will always deserve you. You can fade to a ghost here, but not in my heart. Never will you fade in my heart nor my memory. Never.

          leilamofwoodsbeyond replied 1 month, 2 weeks ago

          Thank you.
          That means… more than you know.
          Love you <3

          thecoven4ever replied 1 month, 2 weeks ago

          Love you too ❤️

        royalfudge replied 2 weeks, 2 days ago

        Ghosts are full of life. Did you know that? They may not truly live in the same world as the rest of us, but they live. You deserve here… and I just wish I had the words to comfort you as I should. Love you, through anything.

          leilamofwoodsbeyond replied 2 weeks, 2 days ago

          I hadn’t thought about it like that… not at all. But you’re right. They do have life, just in a different way.
          Thank you, Kira, for giving a new outlook. Your words are enough.
          Through anything <3

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