maskedgem

Member Since

7th August, 2018

My Ranking Points

1715
    maskedgem posted an update 2 years, 4 months ago

    How sweet must it be to feel all the pain at once and never again.
    It would be easier.
    Though I saw it coming, it still hurts.
    Every time someone asks me if I’m ok, it is just a reminder that I’m not.
    The worst type of pain is where you keep smiling to stop the tears from falling.
    I don’t need to kill myself. I can just stop caring if I lived or not.
    Life always hurts a lot more than death.
    When I’m alone, I think.
    When I think, I remember.
    When I remember, I feel the pain.
    Because of the pain, I cry.
    When I start crying, I can’t stop.
    It is scary what can be hidden behind a smile.
    To feel nothing, what a beautiful experience.
    Hurting on the outside,
    to kill the monster inside.
    I’m not as strong as people think I am.
    I am not the girl you think of me
    Not the bubbly, laughing girl, always trying to help
    Always the girl who isn’t resilient.
    Who can’t leave things behind.
    You would think
    That when we took a blade to our skin
    We would be crying
    Hyperventilating
    Sobbing uncontrollably
    What you don’t know
    Is that when crimson colours our skin
    Is when we feel most calm.
    I’m getting worse
    And nobody knows
    I just want to close my eyes
    And never open them again
    If my parents knew,
    They would ask me what is wrong
    And then say I am pretending and everything is going to be fine
    If my class knew,
    They would say I am an attention seeker and tease me
    I don’t feel like a gem anymore
    I don’t feel like anyone needs me.
    What is the purpose of life?

        goodandevil5050 replied 2 years, 4 months ago

        I don’t know the purpose of life, all I know is that we all have to go through it, but at least we’re together, even if it’s only in mental form.

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