maskedgem

Member Since

7th August, 2018

My Ranking Points

1715
    maskedgem posted an update 2 years, 3 months ago

    yay finally found a place to rant without anyone seeing
    finally i hate it when my dad checks my diary docs and email i just want privacy. i’ll kill to be alone
    wow i’m still alive seeking for a reason to live
    so this is gonna become my new diary
    i’ll kill myself if anyone sees this
    here goes nothing
    30/01/2019
    Today I started high school. Great. Again, like primary, i have no friends. Again, like primary, nobody cared about me and treated me like trash. Well, at least I’m still alive. So tough, life is. My parents are pressuring me more now that high school started. Yeah I got really bad for a couple of hours that I tried contacting Kids Helpline. Yep, should have known my dad blocked that site. My sister framed me today. She got annoyed because I wouldn’t let her watch TV (come on she already watched for 3 hours eyesight!) so out of nowhere, she started crying. And I got in trouble. Gwen still hates me even though I have don’t know the reason why. I typed one of my songs onto the new SGE art thing, naming it “it hurts”. It basically describes my life. So yeah. I signed it off with me. I wrote 7 pieces like this and to share even one means a lot to me. It is like I am showing a part of me to someone. So i decided to leave that part with SGE, even if they don’t know. And great. I should have known it was all lies when they told me they care for me. After all, if they did, they wouldn’t call me a faker or a b****. Yay. Life gets worse. Thank goodness meg/ploypiti understands. She was the only one i met that didn’t tell me to stop cutting. She was the only one I met who just told me to cover the scars. I was listening to Love me again by Katelyn Tarver and really wished SGE would understand the lyrics. Anyways, I actually think I made improvement with life. Though still no sleep, I managed to make myself eat toast. it felt so weird, eating again. I haven’t eaten for ages. So bye bye.

        cocostar replied 7 months, 3 weeks ago

        Don’t kill yourself. And I know I’m just another person annoying you, but not wanting to cut yourself comes with time, you can’t just will yourself to stop. I hope you will stop, in time, once you see how beautiful the world is, how much you’ll miss. Everything you deserve to see. Stay. Crumble into pieces. Shatter. Fall apart. But don’t end your life. Don’t even pick up the fragile shards of memories-even if you just want one last look. Because in the end, your hand starts to bleed and you’ve cut yourself. And the memories are back, grinning as they take over. The cycle will repeat if you examine it-even for a second or two before you throw it away.
        And a reason not to commit su*cide is you being an absolutely amazing person who deserves the world and more.
        Please don’t go.

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