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25th November, 2019

My Ranking Points

    pelpomagirregirl posted an update in the group RP Level 0: The Clearing 2 months, 3 weeks ago

    Chapter 1
    Reba had been waiting to go to the School for Good and Evil her whole life. She and her best friend, Elanna, had been preparing for it ever since she could remember. They’d be in the same school, of course, though they could never agree on whether their school would be Good or Evil. Reba always said that they had to be Evers. She remembered one time when they’d gotten into an extensive conversation about it. “My father would be so disappointed in me if I was a Never.” She insisted. “Your father would be proud that you were being true to yourself.” Elanna argued. “Pff!! The daughter of Peter Pan, in the school for Evil?” Reba retorted. “No one would believe that.” “No one would believe that a daughter of a Lost boy would be Evil, yet that’s where everyone seems to think I’ll end up.” Elanna said glumly. Reba visibly softened. “Hey, it’s okay.” She said. “No one ever said of the Lost boys were Good or Evil.” Elanna shrugged. “Not like it matters who my father was.” She muttered. Reba opened her mouth to say something when bells began to ring throughout the village. “Dinner time.” Elanna said, glancing at the sun, which was beginning to set. “See you tomorrow?” She asked. Reba nodded. The two girls separated, Elanna to her house were her mother was probably preparing supper, Reba to the back of a diner where she hoped there would be some leftover food. Both of Reba’s parents were dead, and she lived in a treehouse at the edge of town, getting food from restaurants and Elanna. It wasn’t a problem because it never got very cold in her village, so Reba was almost grateful that she didn’t have to take care of a house. Reba’s stomach rumbled, reminding her of her hunger. She shook off her thoughts and sprinted down the dusty road to try to find some dinner.

        pelpomagirregirl replied 2 months, 3 weeks ago

        This is my first time writing fanfic, so Constructive Criticism is welcome

          merqueen23 replied 2 months, 3 weeks ago

          You just said this was fanfic so why didn’t you post it on the fanfic site?

        geek replied 2 months, 3 weeks ago

        This is really good, my only suggestion would be to make dialogue a separate paragraph to make it easier to read

        bdub-panera replied 2 months, 3 weeks ago

        sounds interesting. here are a few pointers:
        – make a new paragraph each time a new character speaks (in other words, click enter)
        – maybe post longer chapters?
        sounds like a really col fanfic! cant wait for the rest 🙂

        carrot123 replied 2 months, 3 weeks ago

        Nice job! Tag me!

        tpurple replied 2 months, 3 weeks ago

        I like it! Nice job!

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