My Ranking Points
Chapter 17: Once Upon A Time
Silence hung like a damp mist shrouding the air. The only sound in the deadly hush was the needle-like knife vigilantly writing. Then the dagger wavered in the air, suddenly aware of the all eyes on it-
Black smoke engulfed the chamber. The smoke cleared.
A flurry of air, a puff of black smoke, then the dagger pounced at the table. Just as the dangerously sharp nib met the stone, pearly-white slab, an ornate cherrywood book appeared and had painted a hazy painting of Laurence in the School Master’s Tower. The dagger printed some words below with a flourish.
“Once upon a time lived a prince, determined to live up to his royal title in the shadow of his excellent parents, King Tedros and Queen Agatha of Camelot,” The Storian inked.
The painting showed Laurence, head raised high, proud, figure *****, cocksure grin, with conviction twinkling in crystal blue eyes.
“The Storian controls the Woods, and it takes the path it pleases.” Laurence had Merlin’s lessons imbedded in his mind, and the wizard’s words of wisdom resounded. “It will take anybody’s fairytale wherever it wants, to it’s full extent, and nobody has any control over it.”
Whilst the others gaped, Bates Stilt’s expression changed from smug to petrified. The intricate writing, the white slab. . .the dagger. . .clear in his mind, from his nightmare. Then Bates allowed the horrific truth to seep into him. Up to now, he had called his ‘dreams’ nightmares. But now it was time to face up to reality, the reality Bates was scared off.
Worst of all, that clouded face looming over him, something that Bates knew perfectly well.
Bate’s had a Nemesis.
The dagger hovered, twitching with impatience, eager to write. Laurence examined it intently. . .a needle-like quill, nib razor-sharp.
Dean Sophie was the first to shatter the deathlike silence by clearing her throat.
“As you can see, the Storian has begun a new fairytale, and all we can do is wait to see where it takes us.”
Even with her calm tones, Laurence detected a slight stiffness in her voice, panic flaring in her emerald eyes. Sophie was scared now.
“I just wanted to remind you all that you are in the midst of a fairytale. . .and you shouldn’t be. . .you’re all just. . .children.” Her voice cracked, and a hand flew up to cover her face. Cheshire and Ella tried to look ashamed for no reason in particular, but Laurence was astounded. . .almost offended.
Never in his entire thirteen years of his life, had Laurence ever seen Aunt Sophie cry. She was always so proud, so sure, so confident.
Sophie’s tale had started when she was in school. If it hadn’t been for some extraordinary events the fairytale had taken the most unexpected twist, Sophie would have been done for. Laurence gulped as he imagined Sophie a crippled witch, gone.
Sophie rubbed her nose ruefully.
“Just be careful. . .all of you. Let’s go.” She flicked her hand, and her, Bates, and the two Nevergirls swooped from the tower.
Dovey fondled her cherrywood wand.
“We should also be going.” She waved her wand in a smooth ******, and shot from the window, swishing sparks around Laurence, Cheshire and Ella, suspending them in the air.
Then Laurence felt it again.
A stab of excitement, a shiver tingling up his spine.
The sparks tore towards him.
As Dovey, Cheshire and Ella soared out of the window, Laurence marveled at the glistening chamber, once dark and filthy, now gleaming. He gawped at the Storian, diligently engraving the parchment in an exquisite calligraphy. Laurence watched it spelling out the remarkable developments that had taken place the day and night, the storm, finding Julie at the bottom of the storm, discovering how it was really Laurence at the bottom of it and Professor Alexander’s vehement hatred towards Laurence.
The same shadow on the Great Lawn at midnight.
The shadow that had been. . .Julie.
Only now it emerged as something completely different.
A girl, a shock of white locks tumbled down alabaster skin and cornflower-blue eyes radiated brilliance. Someone who reminded Laurence unnervingly of. . . Laurence brushed the thought from his mind.
“Greetings, Laurence. I didn’t expect you, not now. Oh no, definitely.”
Her frigid fingers skimmed across his neck, and the frosty touch reminded Laurence even more of someone. If only he could grasp the thought that kept slipping from the tips of his fingers, lurking in the depths of his mind. . . Laurence welled with frustration.
Finally he managed to speak; His jaw felt as though it had been fused together.
“Wh-who are you?” Laurence couldn’t tear his eyes away her.
“Name’s Celia Darkmore – to you -” She said, in a lilting voice. This time, Laurence recognised Julie’s enticing dialect.
Laurence dived for her, rage that made beads of sweat form on his brow, blood boiling –
She vanished, leaving Laurence gripping the table and heaving for breath. It left him with only one conclusion.
Julie, whoever she was. . . was Evil.
That’s it cookies! Catch up on the rest of the story @Peppy, and I hope you liked it. Any criticism is welcome. *Throws cookies everywhere* Thanks! 😉 😉
WAHOO! I’ve been waiting so long for this. So long. Elders post at least once in a week…but your writing is truly worth the wait. 🙂 Just remember to sometimes rein in your fantastic word knowledge: you may not see it now, but sometimes, simplicity should come over vocabulary. Ever heard: “too many cooks spoil the broth?” Well, your writing is fantastic enough for it to be very hard to spoil…but just bear it in mind. Conquer your use of words – keep them in your head but only drop them in the best, most effective places – and you might become a very special writer indeed. Trust me, I don’t give criticism unless I think it’s worth it. Your writing is certainly worth improving…no matter how good it already is. It’s one of the few stories I actually care enough about to criticise. Good luck and I’m DYING for the next update! Hope you managed that…thing.
KEEP ON WRITING AS BRILLIANT AS YOU ARE! 😮
I know. . .You’ve already mentioned it on another of my posts! What do you mean, ‘hope you managed that…thing?’
Thanks for pointing that out anyway. 😉
Jeez, @PeppY, you really know how to get a story going, don’t you? 🙄 Other than that, it is really good. Hope my character that you already have will make a great addition to it 😉
That was so intese and suspenseful!!! I loved it 🙂 and Julie, evil! Wow that was unexpected!