tailteofportglenone

Member Since

28th April, 2017

My Ranking Points

3060
    tailteofportglenone posted an update 2 years, 11 months ago

    When I started this site I didn’t realise what a big part of my life I was walking right into, and when I left it I guess I didn’t realise the pain that would come.
    I’m crying, I mean it I don’t know why I did this. No explanation is good enough. Not for leaving my best friends. And then pretending it dose not hurt. WELL IT HURTS LIKE HE LL!

    I miss you
    Everyone
    Every stupid, wonderful, amazingly unique person on this site.
    Tonight is like every night I have, where I regret what I did and look back at all the little things that remind me of them, tell myself that I’ll find a way to tell them all I love them one day, because I know if I go on this site I’ll break done in tears.

    But of course, this was all about me. I’m an idiot.
    I told myself you’d all hate me now I left without a goodbye like you were all nothing to me. But you all mean so so much to me.
    I regret everything, EVERYTHING.
    Most people can apologise, others don’t even need to.
    But there are no words of apologetic explanation that could ever show how I feel.

    I left my best friends. I left them. I ruined my chances with friendship. And then made excuses.

    To those who REALLY know me, then I need to tell you that this is NOT like Émer. If you remember my old best friend that I said about. I miss you more. So much more.

    I realise anyone can read this, I don’t care. I still have things to say to people -I have to now, I’d wait to be more private but going through old posts to find them would break me
    @Darkfire2010 , Orla I think I’m going to scream or vomit because the pain in my Chest when I say your name is so deep it reaches my heart. I MISS YOU SO MUCH!!!! I want to hug you and never let go and then talk for hours and hours and hours and pretend this never happened, but it did and I’m sorry I left, I love you. I love you so much it hurts to think about! I remember every little thing about you, I will never forget them. They comfort me and haunt me. I still call you my best friend, even though all I deserve from you is hatred for the way I treated you. I hated myself. I can’t expect any better from you, even though I wish for it. I thought we would do English at Queens together, maybe then it’d all come back, and we’d be older and really could be best friends together. But you would have forgotten by then. After all you’d be an adult. I promised myself I’d never forget you. But it seems I keep on breaking promises, even to the people I love the most. I haven’t been right without you, must have lost my sass same time I lost you, I think I’m going to stay up the whole night now, I never get to sleep when I’m in this type of mood and this isn’t going away anytime soon, I love you, if you ever see this know I will never forget you. Never

    @thedemigod1112 ,Nat , I can’t start, you are so good and pure and just amazing and I hurt you. YOU. One of my best friends! I miss you. How could I do this to you! The girl I talked to for hours about my hopes, dreams and whatever other random antic that came to my head, the girl who gave me funny dares, the girl who made me laugh and love and smile, but now all I do is want to burst out in tears when I think of how much I miss you. I want to give you an explanation worthy. I’m sorry but there is none. I’m an idiot. Feel free to call me whatever demeaning name you want to because I deserve it, go live your dreams Nat. Even if I’m not in them anymore you’re still in mine, and in mine you’re a star. I love you. And I hope you can forgive me, even if it takes time, I’m not going anywhere for awhile.

    @Spiritdream1112 ,Adelle I missed your quirkiness, the way you made me laugh and how are conversations were so delightfully random that half the time I didn’t even understand them. You are so smart I couldn’t help but miss you. I miss seeing your posts and smiling because I always knew that you and me could have a great conversation out of anywhere. You where one of those types of people. I never really knew you on as much as a personal level as the others, but I still consider you as one of my best friends, and I could never leave you out of something like this.

    If any of you have even made it this far through my ramblings know that I love you all. I don’t say that often. Even though I have used it copious amounts of times here.
    The tears and the pain are nothing compared to what I have done.
    Here comes the hard part, posting. At least it is on my activity, sort of private. Sort of not.

        tailteofportglenone replied 2 years, 11 months ago

        ORLA ORLA ORLA YOURE HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

          tailteofportglenone replied 2 years, 11 months ago

          I think that if we could actually meet and hug right now it would be the best moment of my life! Even in the snow in my pyjamas, I wouldn’t care!

        tailteofportglenone replied 2 years, 11 months ago

        When I saw you had commented I thought I might choke but I’m good, now my friend is here, I’m so so sorry, I hate myself

        tailteofportglenone replied 2 years, 11 months ago

        I have been wanting to do this forever, everything is so different, I don’t want it to be different between us, don’t get me wrong, I’ve changed, a lot has changed, some good, some bad

        tailteofportglenone replied 2 years, 11 months ago

        And Belfast is not that great a place ahahahha

        tailteofportglenone replied 2 years, 11 months ago

        Just been different, I don’t know, I suppose I have been depressed or something. But it’ll go

          tailteofportglenone replied 2 years, 11 months ago

          Really???? Awwww… Strange all I could think about was this site today

        tailteofportglenone replied 2 years, 11 months ago

        It’s fine, I know how you feel, I was too scared to say sorry because I didn’t think it was good enough. I just posted in open chat. I can’t wait to say hi to everyone, I heard salty and pugsforever left, I can’t even believe it!

        tailteofportglenone replied 2 years, 11 months ago

        Ahahhaha at first it was about studying don’t get me wrong, last week I had an English controlled assessment and in 9 days am doing my biology GCSE but the rest was me being a coward, but don’t worry my sassy Never self is coming back

        tailteofportglenone replied 2 years, 11 months ago

        What?!?! No no no no! They can’t

        tailteofportglenone replied 2 years, 11 months ago

        I have spoken to krissy a few times, but she rarely answers anymore. I’m competing in Belfast Drama festival with a monologue and two improvisations so that’s been keeping me busy aswell, and my harp grade and harp orchestra and the book I’m writing and all the other things such as homework.
        Also turns out I’m okay at maths after all. (Took A LOT of work)

        spiritdream1112 replied 2 years, 11 months ago

        I missed you.
        How could I hate you? You’re one of my best friends and hatred could never destroy that because of life, and because, admittedly, I know how it feels, before SGE there was another site I spent my time on, I’ve made great friends there, but father set up parental controls, and was thus banished from it.
        I…defied….since mother supported my time on the site, she helped me with other ways onto the site. I couldn’t be as active as I once was but I was happy to be back.
        However, as the months went on, we’ve grown quiet, we didn’t interact the way we once did.
        The one I was closest to decided it was time for her to make her leave.
        Eventually I rediscovered the SGE site.
        I met you.
        I met Darkfire.
        I met KW.
        I met Lyn and Maple, Ellie and Emma, Cotton, Jazzy and Pugs.
        So much has happened that I stopped.
        Defying.
        Going there.
        I haven’t been to that site in months, up and gone without announcing.
        I’ve been meaning to return, to do exactly what you’ve done, but….as you said, it’s hard, out of the fear that someone genuinely will hate you…

        I’m….not sure why I’m telling you this…..it just….happened.
        Just, remember that I love you to, ok?
        And, good luck with everything that’s going on.

          spiritdream1112 replied 2 years, 11 months ago

          //It’s weird, seeing my name being used, but I am touched you remembered it.

        spiritdream1112 replied 2 years, 11 months ago

        Wait Lyn’s planning on leaving?
        Oh no,
        Dan Kuroto.
        I woke up today and thought the only emotional thing that would happen today was LvP starting.
        Pugs made her final goodbye.
        Tailte’s returned.
        And now Lyn might be leaving?
        I don’t know what to saaaay my mind is trying to keep up with all these emotions it didn’t expect.

        thedemigod1112 replied 2 years, 11 months ago

        I don’t hate you. I could never hate you in a million years.
        You were one of my first best friends on this site. I loved you so much and you made me laugh and come on the site to see if you were on. You were my sister and even though you haven’t been on, you still are. I missed you so much and even though it hurt, I don’t blame you. 🙂
        LOVE YOU TAILTE! <3

        thedemigod1112 replied 2 years, 11 months ago

        And also it is really, really nice to see you again!!! *Tries to wipe off happy tears.*

        tailteofportglenone replied 2 years, 11 months ago

        NAT!!!!! ADELLE!!!!!! (Also ORLA I thought I was the only person who said they were philosophising ahahaha)
        Sorry about the other site, at least you can now come here.
        Also my granny’s cousin Danny just died and I need to go see her soon, but not for awhile

          spiritdream1112 replied 2 years, 11 months ago

          aw

        pugsforever replied 2 years, 11 months ago

        Lyn said that she’ll probably leave when all the books are over 😥
        ………………
        I’m sorry for your loss I guess. 😥
        …………
        *is being told to calm down because I shouldn’t be this excited and shouldn’t be going crazy, no one went crazy, not Adelle or Orla (ok, maybe Orla) or Nat.
        ………
        I’m so happy you’re back, we’d never be mad at you ❤️❤️

          pugsforever replied 2 years, 11 months ago

          There should be this: * at the end of my sentence sorry

        tailteofportglenone replied 2 years, 11 months ago

        Awk! I missed this

          thedemigod1112 replied 2 years, 11 months ago

          🙂

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