theginger posted an update 2 weeks ago

    Hey there!
    *Pushes glasses back into place*
    Welcome to the ENA, or Ever Never Army.
    I’m Ginger, a third year evergirl here in the madhouse. It’s a bit crazy, but you’ll never find a better community than this one.
    If you need anything, just tag me in your activity!
    1) Your activity is under the Report Card tab. You can view any user’s activity…[Read more]

    theginger posted an update 1 month ago

    What’s it like; sitting all alone in the shadowed corners.
    What’s it like; watching others instead of looking in a mirror.
    I ask myself; what do I see in the glass.
    He asked; why do you hide yourself away.
    Cover your back in clothes that conceal.
    Keep your head down, eyes wandering.
    Build the walls higher, stronger so they contain you.
    I replied;…[Read more]

        thecoven4ever replied 1 month ago

        You already know my thoughts, but I’ll say it again: I love this. <3

          theginger replied 1 month ago

          💙

        eloiseruizpalma replied 1 month ago

        This is amazing, Gingey! 💙

          theginger replied 1 month ago

          Thank you!!!

        darkfire2010 replied 3 weeks, 6 days ago

        O.O
        Sometimes your poems leave me speechless. This is one of those times.
        I have no words to describe how utterly amazing this is

          theginger replied 3 weeks, 6 days ago

          Thank you Orla, I’m glad you liked this one. It’s a representation of my self esteem, something I talked with my therapist about, how there are days when I don’t know the person in the mirror.

          darkfire2010 replied 3 weeks, 5 days ago

          I understand that

          theginger replied 3 weeks, 5 days ago

          Yeah, it’s really hard when everyone around you keeps saying how amazing you are, but you can’t see if yourself. Even when you try, try to look at yourself in a positive light, all you see are the things you try to hide from people. Your flaws.

          darkfire2010 replied 3 weeks, 5 days ago

          Honestly, for me, how I feel with my self-esteem is telling myself I’m meh. It’s probably not the best way, but it means I have days where I look and myself and go yikes, and there’s days where I feel content with myself. I try not to think about my flaws too much or my virtues. When people say you’re amazing on here, I read I love you. I think of…[Read more]

    theginger posted an update 1 month, 2 weeks ago

    @thecoven4ever
    Cove (Thea),
    I’m worried. I’m really worried. Please talk to me Cove, please. I’m here. I’m prepared to come back and help, I’m here if you need to vent. You know I will always be here. Always.

        thecoven4ever replied 1 month, 2 weeks ago

        Thank you ❤️
        T

    theginger posted an update 1 month, 3 weeks ago

    There’s a hole
    In my heart
    Like a gunshot wound
    it bleeds, inside out.
    I sit down
    Swamped by pain
    But somehow I must walk
    Down the path, never falter.
    Stay strong for you.
    Always for you.
    All these hours
    That pass by
    Send me further
    Into the darkness.
    It claims
    Me to follow
    I tried so hard
    To resist it’s games.
    Stay strong for you.
    Always…[Read more]

        teamjoanne replied 1 month, 2 weeks ago

        Wow, Gingey… I can really feel the emotion in this, it’s so powerful and heartfelt. Beautiful poem, as always 💙

        eloiseruizpalma replied 1 month, 2 weeks ago

        This is beautiful, Gingeyy! 💙 I love it!

        thecoven4ever replied 1 month, 2 weeks ago

        Love you Lauren
        Always ❤️

        darkfire2010 replied 3 weeks, 6 days ago

        I can feel this

    theginger posted an update 1 month, 3 weeks ago

    It’s almost like fate caused us to end up like this,
    It’s been building up year after year.
    The conversations never seemed long enough,
    An endless quest for more.
    We’ve circled each other for so long,
    Like two neutron stars falling towards the same point,
    Endlessly spinning round and round.
    Until suddenly,
    We colide.
    A collision millions of…[Read more]

        theginger replied 1 month, 3 weeks ago

        Credit for the original words and idea: Ronan

          theginger replied 1 month, 3 weeks ago

          (First draft)

        eloiseruizpalma replied 1 month, 3 weeks ago

        Aww, I love this, Gingy! 💙

          theginger replied 1 month, 3 weeks ago

          Thank you!

        thecoven4ever replied 1 month, 2 weeks ago

        Wow this is amazing
        Love you ginge ❤️

        darkfire2010 replied 3 weeks, 6 days ago

        This one actually hit me hard.

          theginger replied 3 weeks, 6 days ago

          May I ask in what way?
          I’ve never written anything resembling a love poem that I can remember up until this point, and the words aren’t originally mine (Ronan was being poetic), but it just sang to me a bit, you know?

          darkfire2010 replied 3 weeks, 5 days ago

          It’s because I can relate a lot, a lot of people I know can fit into this poem. A lot of those people I don’t get to talk to anymore. I don’t know if you intended it to be love between friends or romantic love, but as a personal interpretation I see it as between friends. In all honesty, lines like “conversations never long enough” really reminded…[Read more]

    theginger posted an update 1 month, 3 weeks ago

    Walking down these streets alone.
    Lamps wink out as I stride by.
    Colors fade with every step.
    Shadows dance in their new playground.
    My earbuds drown my head in song.
    Music ringing in beat to my soles.
    Every count bringing me home once more.
    The notes peer out through my eyes.
    Seeing the world through hazel skies.
    Voices mere phrases in a…[Read more]

        noelleshin replied 1 month, 3 weeks ago

        Gingy! This is wonderful…
        How are you doing?
        You’re in this poem that I wrote, do you wanna read it?

          theginger replied 1 month, 3 weeks ago

          Of course I do!! I’m ok, just super tired. We had bookclub today and I’m peopled out.

        thecoven4ever replied 1 month, 2 weeks ago

        I love this ❤️

        darkfire2010 replied 3 weeks, 6 days ago

        This one makes me smile

          theginger replied 3 weeks, 6 days ago

          😊

    theginger posted an update 2 months ago

    This is what it feels like to have the world end,
    Isn’t it?
    To have the glass come crashing down on your head.
    The ceiling that was supposed to hold and protect you,
    Breaking you.
    Each shard of glass cutting your skin,
    Leaving wounds as you try to run towards the exit,
    Trying to find the ones you love before the door caves in.
    Then,
    The glass…[Read more]

        thecoven4ever replied 2 months ago

        Gone… and yet not, because those who fall will always be remembered in spirit. Beautiful gingey.

          theginger replied 2 months ago

          💙

        eloiseruizpalma replied 2 months ago

        Did you write this? Its so beautiful. You’re really talented, Gingey. 💙

          theginger replied 2 months ago

          I did ☺, and thank you.

        noelleshin replied 2 months ago

        Gingy! This is so pretty!
        I miss you! How are you doing lately????

          theginger replied 2 months ago

          Thank you, and I miss you too 💙.
          I’m surviving, summer has not been as relaxing as it should be.
          I’ve been formally diagnosed with GAD, and my meeting for my 504 plan initiation (well, basically they just approved that I could have one) was last Wednesday. It’s been rough, anxiety is no joke. The upside of summer has been seeing my friends,…[Read more]

          eloiseruizpalma replied 2 months ago

          Your poems are amazing! It’s unfortunate about GAD.. I hope it goes away 💙

          theginger replied 1 month, 4 weeks ago

          It will never go away, but that’s ok. I will learn to live and manage with it. 😊

          thecoven4ever replied 1 month, 3 weeks ago

          I’m sorry Gingey, I hope you can find some good strategies that help you cope with your GAD. As for your bf, I totally get that it’s really hard for you to tell him. Maybe try and just have a sit down conversation addressing it? If the relationship is harming your mental health, than something certainly needs to be done. <3

        darkfire2010 replied 2 months ago

        This is beautiful. I need to read it again though, because I feel like the meaning is complex

          theginger replied 2 months ago

          It definitely is 😊

    theginger posted an update 2 months, 2 weeks ago

    Replacement.
    A powerful word.
    A phrase full of caution.
    A dangerous road.
    All the outcasts fade away,
    Leaving the broken docks behind.
    Hoping to fix what has been torn,
    But were swept out to sea.
    Memories of those who’ve been lost,
    Circle heads of unwilling hosts.
    The lights they once held,
    Extinguished once more.
    Positions framed in…[Read more]

        darkfire2010 replied 2 months, 2 weeks ago

        You can never replace those who made a home of your heart, you simply make more room.

        blondieonfire replied 2 months, 2 weeks ago

        I know I can’t compare to what you’ve seen on this site, but I’ll try. I came here in the last few days of 2018. The few days before all the newbies came in. I saw a faint glimmer of what the site was, a beautiful, loving place. I saw part of the MG war. The site’s downfall, plunging even deeper into darkness, the influx of newbies who didn’t…[Read more]

        thecoven4ever replied 2 months, 1 week ago

        Replaced….
        No, not replaced. Forgotten. And yet, remembered. Because as long as those who were once there are here, they will tell your story.
        Always.

        gwen-elodie replied 2 months, 1 week ago

        I’m surprised how many people found this post…

          theginger replied 2 months, 1 week ago

          Same here

          theginger replied 2 months, 1 week ago

          How are you?

          gwen-elodie replied 2 months, 1 week ago

          Meh, but at the same time, amazing

          gwen-elodie replied 2 months, 1 week ago

          You?

          theginger replied 2 months, 1 week ago

          Anxious, tired, but alive! The family and friend issues happening don’t help either.

          gwen-elodie replied 2 months ago

          urgh, ****

          theginger replied 2 months ago

          What word is starred out?

          gwen-elodie replied 2 months ago

          dam, but with the n

          theginger replied 2 months ago

          I can’t believe they cut that out…man. Yeah, the situation is not the best, but I’ll push through. The only problem is parents don’t want me to be on meds.

          gwen-elodie replied 2 months ago

          sucky

          theginger replied 2 months ago

          Yeah…oh well. You doing anything exciting?

          gwen-elodie replied 2 months ago

          nothing that i can really tell you lol

          theginger replied 2 months ago

          That’s too bad, was wondering where and how you did circus?

          gwen-elodie replied 2 months ago

          through school

          theginger replied 2 months ago

          Oh ok, is it an elective? What’s it like? We don’t have anything like that in my school.

          gwen-elodie replied 2 months ago

          it’s an elective
          we go to the hall for every lesson. All the different apparatuses are hanging off this huge thing in the pole.

          theginger replied 2 months ago

          That’s super cool..

    theginger posted an update 2 months, 3 weeks ago

    @noelleshin
    I miss you too.
    No, I’m not back, but I went on to say hi to some special users (hello!!). I haven’t read very many posts, mostly just went through notifications and some activities. I’ll be on and off this week I think, but if you want to find me I’m only in my activity and/or special posts.
    💙

        noelleshin replied 2 months ago

        gingyyyyyyy
        I miss you so muchhh

    theginger posted an update 3 months, 2 weeks ago

    What does it mean to be lonely,
    How can one feel so afraid?
    Is it possible to be so isolated,
    In my own brain?
    What have I done to deserve this,
    My efforts have changed none.
    Now look a me, a disaster,
    Am I a bomb waiting to go off?

        theginger replied 3 months, 2 weeks ago

        Isolation games play with my mind,
        Why was I easily lured?

        theginger replied 3 months, 2 weeks ago

        Nameless energy plaguing my soul,
        What is this emptiness?

          royalfudge replied 2 months, 3 weeks ago

          Emptiness…
          Making me fall into
          A deep abyss.

        royalfudge replied 3 months, 1 week ago

        That emptiness for me is the pain of having to hide, of never being enough. You have done so much. Not a bomb, but a bottle of healing salve. No one realizes how important you are because you’re just a bottle. The outside is what they look at. But what’s inside of you, so many good and bad things, is absolutely amazing.
        Don’t ever change.
        Love you…[Read more]

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