themind-readergirl

Member Since

16th June, 2020

My Ranking Points

2380
    themind-readergirl posted an update 5 months, 3 weeks ago

    @DOUBLEN
    @LOUISA-E-JENSENGMAIL-COM
    @KITTYBP2
    @DELILAHKITTY
    @RAINBOWLION
    @BIA2008
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    @FOXWOODEAGLE
    @ANADILFOREVER7
    @NEFELI
    @CATTYROSE
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    @RAYRAYHANNAH
    @SGEBOOKLOVER123456
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    @TAGATHAFOREVER109
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    @CORAEM
    @COCOSTAR
    @ASTORN-G-L
    @CCXINYIOFWOODSBEYOND
    @RAYNAEVIL809
    @ALANASGE
    @AGATHACAT888
    @MUNE
    @FLUFFYCLOUDS52

    Heyo!
    Well… you probably remember that I said I will post jokes more often last time?
    Does anyone actually remember when was the last time? *Sighs*
    Sooo… After a looong time I’m back with some new jokes!😃😃

    Tedros: Two facts interesting facts about me. 1) I once knocked out a champion boxer with a single punch. 2) I’m now banned from Crufts.

        themind-readergirl replied 5 months, 3 weeks ago

        A fact of life:
        After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says W.TF

          cattyrose replied 5 months, 3 weeks ago

          AHHHHHHH IT DOES AS WELL

          rainbowlion replied 5 months, 3 weeks ago

          BAHAHAHAHAHA

        cattyrose replied 5 months, 3 weeks ago

        HAHAHAHHAHAHA YES I REMEMBER AND THIS IS AWESOME MELODY!!!!!!!!!

          themind-readergirl replied 5 months, 3 weeks ago

          TYSM XDDD😂

        themind-readergirl replied 5 months, 3 weeks ago

        Hort: Fun fact! Did you know that a shoal of piranhas can devour a small child in 30 seconds? Anyway, I lost my job at the aquarium today :/
        Sophie:
        Hort:

          cattyrose replied 5 months, 3 weeks ago

          HAHA

          rainbowlion replied 5 months, 3 weeks ago

          HORT- nO

          mune replied 4 months, 1 week ago

          I wonder why, Hort, I wonder why…

        louisa-e-jensengmail-com replied 5 months, 3 weeks ago

        AHAHA XDDDDD

          themind-readergirl replied 5 months, 3 weeks ago

          XD

        themind-readergirl replied 5 months, 3 weeks ago

        Tedros: In fact, religious persons are not much different from atheists…
        There are 4,000 religions in the world. A religious person believes that 3,999 religions are wrong. An atheist believes that 4,000 religions are wrong.
        Agatha:

          rainbowlion replied 5 months, 3 weeks ago

          That’s legit tho

        lilystarling replied 5 months, 3 weeks ago

        Oh wow
        these are hillarious

          themind-readergirl replied 5 months, 3 weeks ago

          Ty!

        themind-readergirl replied 5 months, 3 weeks ago

        Hort: Little known fact-
        Captain Hook bought his hook from a second hand store.

          raynaevil809 replied 5 months, 3 weeks ago

          MY GOD THAT PUN-

        themind-readergirl replied 5 months, 3 weeks ago

        What would you call a reality show where Sirius Black adopted the Weasley children?

        “Orange is the new Black…”

        themind-readergirl replied 5 months, 3 weeks ago

        What is the difference between Russia and reality?
        Trump had connections with Russia.

        themind-readergirl replied 5 months, 3 weeks ago

        (Reposted)


        CALLER: Is this Gordon’s Pizza?

        GOOGLE: No sir, it’s Google Pizza.

        CALLER: I must have dialed a wrong number. Sorry.

        GOOGLE: No sir, Google bought Gordon’s Pizza last month.

        CALLER: OK. I would like to order a pizza.

        GOOGLE: Do you want your usual, sir?

        CALLER: My usual? You know me?

        GOOGLE: According to our caller ID data sheet, the last 12 times you called you ordered an extra-large pizza with three cheeses, sausage, pepperoni, mushrooms and meatballs on a thick crust.

        CALLER: OK! That’s what I want …

        GOOGLE: May I suggest that this time you order a pizza with ricotta, arugula, sun-dried tomatoes and olives on a whole wheat gluten-free thin crust?

        CALLER: What? I detest vegetable!

        GOOGLE: Your cholesterol is not good, sir.

        CALLER: How the **** do you know!

        GOOGLE: Well, we cross-referenced your home phone number with your medical records. We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years.

        CALLER: Okay, but I do not want your rotten vegetable pizza! I already take medication for my cholesterol.

        GOOGLE: Excuse me sir, but you have not taken your medication regularly. According to our database, you purchased only a box of 30 cholesterol tablets once, at Drug RX Network, 4 months ago.

        CALLER: I bought more from another drugstore.

        GOOGLE: That doesn’t show on your credit card statement.

        CALLER: I paid in cash.

        GOOGLE: But you did not withdraw enough cash according to your bank statement.

        CALLER: I have other sources of cash.

        GOOGLE: That doesn’t show on your last tax return unless you bought them using an undeclared income source, which is against the law.

        CALLER: WHAT THE ****!

        GOOGLE: I’m sorry, sir, we use such information only with the sole intention of helping you.

        CALLER: Enough already! I’m sick to death of Google, Facebook, Twitter, Whats App and all the others. I’m going to an island without internet, cable TV, where there is no cell phone service and no one to watch me or spy on me.

        GOOGLE: I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport first. It expired 6 weeks ago…

          themind-readergirl replied 5 months, 3 weeks ago

          The censored words are he.ll

        themind-readergirl replied 5 months, 3 weeks ago

        How do you offend a photon?
        You tell it that it doesn’t matter.

        themind-readergirl replied 5 months, 3 weeks ago

        Sophie: I apologize for offending you when I called you stupid.
        Tedros: No pr-
        Sophie *interrupts* : I thought you already knew.
        Tedros:
        Agatha:

        themind-readergirl replied 5 months, 3 weeks ago

        Artemis Fowl *obviously confused*: I told Holly to get Lost, and she seemed quite offended. But I thought it was a pretty good series.
        Butler:

          anadilforever7 replied 5 months, 3 weeks ago

          XD love these

        rainbowlion replied 5 months, 3 weeks ago

        BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA THESE ARE ALL AMAZING YOU MADE ME SMILE I NEEDED THIS TODAY

        raynaevil809 replied 5 months, 3 weeks ago

        wait… I don’t get this one.

        ilikelemons replied 6 days, 4 hours ago

        MELODY IT’S COCO I MISS YOU

          rainbowlion replied 6 days ago

          I miss her too T_T

          cattyrose replied 5 days, 7 hours ago

          same :((

          ilikelemons replied 1 day ago

          me three

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