My Ranking Points
Please read and be honest
Please note: this is a sort of spin off from a story I wrote which is in my activity. I labeled it the door I want.
So we start with these animals waiting for this dear girl to crawl out of a tree and play with them. There was Regy the fox who loved to play pranks on his friends. Then there is Linda who tries is the parent who cooks, teaches, and keeps the group grounded. Now that fast rabbit is Chloe and is always on the go. The fastest rabbit in the woods, at least that is what she would tell you. Lastly, my personal favorite is Lily the fiercely shy tortoise. She generally loves to hide in her shell except with people she trust. Then you can really learn just how weird she can be.
“Hurry up slowpokes” said Chloe even though she is a football field away from them. “Maybe you should slow down or you will hurt yourself.” Just when she was about to say something she tripped her little foot on a little pebble where she dove face first. Reggy just laugh and said “and you claim to be the fastest one in the forest, more like the clumsiest.” “You put the pebble there so I would trip.” “How would able to do that from over there smarty pants?” “Same way you did with the balloon popping incident on my birthday a trigger button.” “You got to admit though that was a good one, but I’m telling you I didn’t do this.” “I don’t believe you fox” “Well you believe it you no good rabbit.” “YOU BOTH STOP OR I’LL PUT SOCK IN IT!!!” Linda said knowing that voice would make them stop talking. “Hey have you two troublemakers seen Lily.” “Don’t know, did you check all the way back at sunflower meadow.” “Reggy be nice, she stays up with us pretty well.” Linda said getting a little irritated at Reggy. “Here I am sorry to keep you guys waiting” whispered small Lily. “ It’s fine hon, everyone is okay with… wait a second… where is Chloe” Linda asked. “Probably going to run himself into the wall and I am going to go see that.” said the fox who started to run of almost immediately after. “Well I’ll stay with you” said the lovely little hedgehog. “You should go and make sure they don’t hurt themselves.” “What did you say honey.” “Just go” “Okay if that is what you want then I will.” Then Linda waddled to catch up with the others.
Great I scared her off, Lilly thought. It’s okay that you are by yourself it is. You do have friends so I shouldn’t ask for much more right. Then why do I feel so bad. I mean I do have friends but if I just decided to disappear they wouldn’t even notice me. I mean why can’t I walk fast or talk. If I did that maybe they would like me. But then that wouldn’t be me. Well, I should stop being so upset for we are going to see the girl. She always makes me feel better. She always seems to hear me no matter if a talk quietly or stutter, she will understand. I better hurry up or I will miss her entirely, like I did last time.
As Lily got to the tree, she saw Chloe and Reggy stuck in a arm wrestle. “Afraid to lose Reggy.” “Why would I be?” “If you lose you would just lose to a rabbit and a girl.” “Will you two knock it off” Linda chimed in. “ Hey guys, I missed the girl again didn’t I?” whispered Lily co quietly that you would have to be right next to her and then maybe you would hear it. The rabbit then says “I’m bored of this arm wrestle. Isn’t the girl is suppose to be here by now?” “ Oh, you are always so impatient Chloe. Just wait I’m she is going to be here,” said Linda. “ Yeah, I guess you are right.” Just as Chloe was about ready to walk off she tripped on some twine which activated a water bucket to fall down right on top of him. “ The clumsy rabbit strikes again,” said the fox. “Why you..” Chloe then tries to hit him but Linda step in the way to slow them and stop them from hurting themselves.
It went on like this on hours on end with Chloe and Reggy fighting with Linda trying to break them up. Lily just kept sitting there feeling like a third wheel to everything that was happening. This continued hours after hours until they all realized the girl will not be coming to see them. Something is definitely up. They all started heading home with sadness in their heart but no one was as sad as Lily. She was so devastated that with all her might she yelled “ Meet up tomorrow because we are going to figured out what happened to our good friend. She would have given up everything to be here, so we have to find her again.” “ Look who can actually talk” Reggy replied. “I guess we’re going to meet up if Lily talked for it” Chloe chimed in. “Of course we will come and help” said Linda.
The next day the group of friends met by the tree to see if they could figure out how to save their friend who they knew was in danger. “So does the person who called us here want to run the meeting or did you lose your voice from last time?” said Reggy. “Reggy be nice to little Lily that was very brave of her.” Linda replied. Lily then came up on top a little tree stump even though she did it incredibly slowly and said “Do I have to talk?” “You don’t have to sweetie, but it might be helpful if we all say what makes us insecure, like I’m afraid that if one of you get hurt and I wasn’t there to stop you guys. That is why I’m so protective.” Linda said as sentimentally as possible for a person. “I guess I’m afraid of if I’m not the best or I don’t act like the best, people would just forget about me entirely,” said Chloe. “ I don’t have any insecurities… Well, okay, I am afraid of you guys only thinking of me as a prankster and to cover that insecurity I make fun of you guys,” replied Reggy. “Actually that does make me feel better, thanks guys. So now about my idea, I think we should climb in the tree where the girl comes out see what is going on and see if we can help.” “That is a fine idea, but she may just be somewhere else and will come back later. Lit’s just wait a week and then we will see what happens.” Linda chimed.
So the rest of the week Lily go up and wait for the girl to crawl out of the tree for hours on end, just waiting. Every time she was disappointed that she never came. Lily would always think, was it my fault? I was the reason she isn’t coming any more, I just know it. No that can’t be right, there has to be another reason she isn’t coming through the tree to see us.
The next day everyone else came with Lily up to that tree to help her out with her plan. Lily told her friends about how the girl told stories about her house and how she found her tree so her friends knew where to go. One by one they all went underneath the little peep hole in the tree, but when they came out it wasn’t a wood they found. No they found enclosed space which we call a store and a bunch of wooden frames in which we call doors. One of these door was the one they came through. Almost all of them imeditly left in a hurry and Lilly almost did. Instead she turned for one more look to find her friend. She found two people that look distinctly like her. She gently nudges them and then as quickly as she could hid away. Then the two people found the door that led the gang to this place. They decided to move this door. Lily assumed that was her only way home, she ran as fast as she could and jumped through the door and went back to there home. A week past and some how the girl came back through the tree to see her friends.
I love the plot, but the grammar could use some work, and maybe some Winnie the Pooh copyright should be looked at? IDK about the copyright part, but totally work on the grammar. Oh! And maybe just be the narrator, not partial to characters.
I am really bad when it comes to grammar and now that I think about it I can see the Winnie the Pooh connection. Thanks for you input @storygirl1. If you couldn’t tell I’m not the best writer. I’m just trying to get better and your input really does help.