Meme Winners, BookCon Schedule, Q&A Time, and Teddy’s Animal-Lover Problem

19th May 2015

Heya Evs and Nevs,

I have my first real day off in a couple weeks, because we turned in the proof yesterday afternoon — which means I read it 3 times in a row; all 672 pages — trying to catch every little mistake and tweak every word until it all read exactly how I wanted. Needless to say it nearly drove me insane, but it’s all in the art department’s hands… until it comes back to me tomorrow, and I get another 24 hours to review it before it goes to press.

So it’s one step closer to reaching all of you… Eeee!

Meanwhile, there’s SO much going on. First things first, in my downtime today, I’ve been busily signing 5,000 special tip-in sheets which will be sewed into exclusive editions of THE LAST EVER AFTER, which will be in select stores on July 21st.

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As promised, in the next couple weeks, I’ll tell you which stores these are, so you can either get there on July 21st and get your signed copy — or if you live somewhere else or even outside the US, you can call the store and have one shipped to you. In my ideal world, all 5,000 copies go to Ever Never Army members, and we’ll leave the unsigned copies to the plebeians.

My mom keeps calling, asking me the same three questions: 1) “ARE YOU HAPPY WITH THE BOOK?” 2) “IS IT A MASTERPIECE?” 3) “ARE YOU WRITING A NEW ONE?”

I keep giving her the same answers: 1) Yes, but I’m trying to clear my head of it, so don’t make me think about it. 2) Um. I feel like that’s a question best left to whatever committee or Council of Elders that adjudicates whether things are MASTERPIECES. 3) You’re the one always complaining that I don’t date enough and never have time to eat pizza and take a nap, and now you’re asking me whether I’m writing a new book?

So suffice to say I’m taking a little break to clear my head and find a new acupuncturist (my old Chinese acupuncture man went back to China, practically forcing me into a meltdown in the thick of Book 3, and I was in denial until right about now). Plus I finally have time to buy paper towels, clean the rug in my apartment, wash the blanket Douggie sits on that smells like him, buy a new iPhone — I have an iPhone 4 that is so broken and messed up that the home button popped off and now all that’s left is a little wiry thing that I can still push and make it work (and I do) — but my friends keep making fun of me, so it’s time I got one that actually worked.

I’m off-topic.

OH! Yes. BEA and BookCon. (Ellie, pay attention, since this is the part where I finally get to meet you and then we can tell everyone about it next week.) I’m doing a crazy schedule at BEA and BookCon next week in NYC, for those of you who will get a chance to be there. Here’s the official schedule:


Besides Ellie, I hope I get to meet any of the rest of you who will be in town! If not you, then send your NYC friends to come meet me so we can take pictures and I can tell them how cool you are, since I know most of your names and comments and have a good idea of your personalities (just ask WeasleyLover, Paisley, Willowwind, and everyone else I got to meet on the Book 2 PB tour.)

One more trailer teaser…

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Remember, it comes out on either June 3 or June 4 on MTV! More details to come…

I got a stack of fanmail in the mail today from some amazing fans outside the US — all of whom asked the same question: Will there by a fourth and fifth book of SGE? And the answer is, Book 3 is the end of THIS particular story in the world of SGE. But it isn’t the end of the SGE world at all… So more news to come….

Meanwhile, JoAnn is hard at work, as I’m sure you can tell from her Sunday post entries, because she’s filming the first episode of Ever Never TV which will air in mid-June, plus managing the new website, launching first week of June, and double-checking everything on the proof to make sure I didn’t miss anything. Sample Soman / JoAnn exchange:

JoAnn: You have that Sophie’s hair is still wet. It doesn’t make sense that her hair is still wet if she was in the [redacted: spoiler] twelve hours ago.

Me: Um, I need her hair to be wet. Can’t girls’ hair stay wet after twelve hours? Since it’s so long and girly?

JoAnn: No.

Me: How do we make it stay wet?

JoAnn: You can’t — unless it’s in like a thick bun and is super curly and even then…

Me: Perfect. See. Her hair can be wet.

JoAnn: [throws up hands]

[This is how an argument with me usually goes. I’ll hold onto my position until I find a little loophole and pretend it applies to everything.]

Now, the Memes were so amazing that I just stared at them in between working on the proof, cracking up, because they’re just so absurd and perfect and creative. One of them was pretty spot-on as to how I was feeling during the past few months:

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I have to say, your entries to this contest were the best of any contest thus far, I think. They’re just so good. Hopefully those of you with Instagram or Pinterest or anything else have uploaded them there as well, so your friends can check out how awesome your memes are.

A few of the memes took on SGE haters (are there really SGE haters?!!! How marvelous! I’ve always wanted haters — it makes me feel like a Kardashian; plus, the truth about haters, as we all know, is they are secretly love-ers, since hate and love are two horns on the same goat.) But most of the memes were just big love letters to the feels of diving deep into a fantasy world.

Picking winners was nearly impossible, so we’re going to do the unusual step of picking 6 winners overall. That’s right. Six! And any of you who haven’t yet won the prize of five signed hardcover copies of A WORLD WITHOUT PRINCES, you can e-mail us at [email protected] and we’ll send you 5 signed copies to give to your library and friends.

Commenting on this weeks’ entries are…


BEATRIX: As if anyone in their right mind would ever believe you’re cool enough to be a bro.

TEDROS: I can be a bro. I have the body to be a bro.

BEATRIX: And none of the smoothness.

TEDROS: We have a job to do, Beatrix. Something involving memes —

BEATRIX: Do you know that there’s an entire online contingent of teenage girls who despise you because you kicked my bunny in Book 1?

TEDROS: You can’t be serious.

BEATRIX: They say that you’re an irredeemable character because you kicked a very cute, innocent animal.

TEDROS: That’s because you NAMED it after me! What was I supposed to do? Hug it? What if Hort named a puppy after you? What would you do —

BEATRIX: Kill it, of course.

TEDROS: Precisely.

BEATRIX: Are you comparing me to Hort????

TEDROS: We’re really going down a garden path here.

BEATRIX: Fine. Who’s your first winner?

TEDROS: This was an easy one. My first winner is… MATT, for being man enough to show his emotions when he reads SGE:



TEDROS: Boys wouldn’t have gotten mad that I kicked your bunny.

BEATRIX: Good lord. Alright, winner #2 is… HANNAH, for this meme that makes me laugh every single time.


TEDROS: I don’t get it.

BEATRIX: You never will, Teddy. You never will. Who do you have as your third winner?

TEDROS: Winner #3 is… LONDON, for this spot-on meme of what it’s like to be in the Ever-Never Army. Soman actually has a good story about this, I think —


SOMAN: I do! I met a bookseller in San Francisco, who said that readers of SGE are like a cult in her store and they’re all “smarter, cooler, and more sophisticated than her average reader”. She said when she hears a kid talk about reading SGE and liking it, she knows that they’re “one of those readers will grow up to be president or head of National Geographic or write the next Harry Potter or win the Olympics in bobsledding.” So yes. Kids who read SGE are like the young equivalent of the Illuminati, but you know this, otherwise you wouldn’t be here. Beatrix, you’re up…

BEATRIX: Winner #4 is… THE LADY ROVESS for this reaction which I had too…



BEATRIX: I never did meet Filip. Was he a good kisser?

TEDROS: Not discussing this anymore. Winner #5 is… ELLIE, for finally capturing exactly what it’s like to have Nevers anywhere near you.


BEATRIX: Do you remember when Sophie had her lunchtime lectures and they all started showering and using deodorant and perfume for like a week?

TEDROS: Oh, that was lovely.

[Both of them sigh]

TEDROS: And the last winner… AMANDA!! I wish I could tell you this is how you’ll feel when you finish THE LAST EVER AFTER, but Soman won’t let me read it.


BEATRIX: Or me. Suppose we both die?

TEDROS: He wouldn’t kill us. Everyone loves us.

BEATRIX: See above reference to contingent of girls that hate you.

TEDROS: What if I petition to stay alive?

SOMAN: Book’s done, bro. What’s done is done, whatever that ‘what’ is.


SOMAN: You’ll see.

Thanks for another amazing week, Evs and Nevs! We’ll take a week off from contests this week, and instead, here’s your chance to ask JoAnn and me any questions you might have about the upcoming new website, EverNever TV, Book 3, or anything else that’s on your mind. Two things you shouldn’t ask about, if only to spare yourself a rote answer:

a) Book 3 storylines… I want to keep all of it a secret so you enjoy it without any spoilers. Even the publisher is aware of how many twists are in the book, because they have it on one-day laydown in stores, which means even the bookstores aren’t allowed to open up the boxes until day of release!

b) Movie auditions… We’re getting closer to casting, etc., but it’s still at least 3 months away, so no news on any of that yet.

Otherwise… ask away!

Hope to see some of you next week in NYC!





  2. Hahahahahaha! That was funny! Beatrix and Tedros would have looked good together! Agatha deserves him more though!

  3. Ahaha, the memes punctuated by Tedros and Beatrix's commentary got me cracking up :D

  4. Tedros, you are so handsome, but so dimwitted. How does Agatha put up with you? And Beatrix should not be on the leader track, she is mean and rude and basically Sophie (but Sophie is WAY better, and not that mean)

  5. So funny

  6. Hahaha

    • Ha so funny!

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Cover Art copyright © 2013, 2014,2015 by Iacopo Bruno